The Syndicate

Eloh is downstairs having a consultation with a customer who wants to get her son a "titty cake" for his 21st.

Congrats on the new kiddo.

Eloh took the children to Vacation Bible School. For those who don't know, that's church all week for kids.

This is what happened.

Teacher: Who knows what "prophecy" is?

Abigail: That's like when you buy a house. That's your prophecy.

Later...

Teacher: Who knows what "healing" is?

Simon: It's what a cleric does with magic!

The pastor did the speaking, although had anybody asked beforehand to speak, I am sure he or she would have been welcome to do so. Memorial services here are rather diverse.

MovingPictures07 wrote:I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Rob. Hadn't seen it until now. Wishing the best for you and your family. I know it's tough to lose a close family member like that, especially an elder you connected with so much.

Thanks pal.

The memorial service was something else. I ended up playing seven songs: "I'll Fly Away" (an old Gospel favorite), "In the Garden," "Nothing but the Blood," "Amazing Grace" (Of course), "Great is Thy Faithfulness" (A favorite of mine), "It is Well (With My Soul)," and of course, "We'll Meet Again," which a lot of people didn't recognize and thought I was playing "Happy Trails."

During the pastor's remarks, I teared up, but for slightly unusual reasons. First of all, this pastor just got hired last year. Let me just say I don't know how to feel being older than the senior pastor of the First Baptist Church where I grew up...

Anyway, that means this guy didn't have long to know my great-grandma. But when he was up there talking about her, he was, in part, telling all about my childhood. Those were my Saturday nights. Those were my Sunday mornings. He commented on how my grandma had a different super-southern vocabulary for certain things (for instance, she never once in her life said "refrigerator" that I know of; she always said "cabinator," which sounds funny until you know that an old brand name was the "Kelvinator"). Here was a stranger narrating the events of my childhood weekends.

I learned something though I never knew. I always knew my great-grandma liked NASCAR and liked "ball games" as she called them. I never knew this:

This new preacher called on her one day and was surprised to see NASCAR and NFL and college basketball stuff around. He asked her, "Who is your favorite NASCAR driver?"

Grandma said, "Well, I don't watch the races no more that Jeff Gordon retired."

"Who is your favorite quarterback?"

Grandma said, "Well, I don't watch the ball games no more that Peyton Manning retired."

This new preacher- guy I've never met before until today- do you know what he did?

He wrote Jeff Gordon and Payton Manning and told them their greatest fan was a 101-year-old lady living in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

And do you know what?

Jeff Gordon sent an autographed magazine- Sports Illustrated- (you may have heard of it) to this pastor. And Payton Manning responded with a personal note. And one Sunday morning while Grandma was in Sunday school, this pastor surprised her with both gifts.

When I heard that, respect for a man I had never before met welled up in me in a way I could not articulate until sitting here now.

Thanks everyone. The memorial service is Saturday afternoon. I don't know the time yet. I am in charge of the music. I know that much. For the prelude, I have selected "Great is Thy Faithfulness." I will accompany my sister on "It is Well (With My Soul)" (grandma's favorite hymn), and I was trying to put my finger on an appropriate postlude piece, and I started hammering out "We'll Meet Again."

I will make sure to ask about that one beforehand, of course- it is in a very old church. But somehow I think that's a nice send off.

S~V~S wrote:So sorry to hear this, Rob. It is good your children got to know her; how many people get to know their great great grandmother?

Her last words to me were to tell Abigail that she was sorry that she never got to have that sleepover where they sat up all night and talked (Abigail's idea). Abigail tickled grandma.

We are bereaved.

My great-grandmother passed about two hours ago. She would have been 102-years-old on the 27th of this month. She helped raise me and took me to church when I was a child. I am sitting here recalling how much she delighted when I found an old tape of Jack Benny, Fred Allen, and W.C. Fields radio sketches and played it for her; it was as though I had taken her back in time. And she didn't shy away from playing video games with me, even if she hardly understood them. We watched Hee-Haw and The Golden Girls and The Lawrence Welk Show every Saturday night. She watched me play with Transformers. We shared the best of our worlds with one another.

I'm sure sad she's gone.

juliets wrote:I was also in a piano competition and came in second. Scared the living daylights out of me. Never did it again and quit piano soon after.

Why would you quit?

I love playing the piano. I think in some respects I like it more than the guitar (shh, don't tell my guitars). However, I do have a problem playing in front of people, but it isn't related to nervousness: I am used to my damned keyboard at home, so a real piano feels substantially different to me, and I tend to make mistakes.

juliets wrote:

Epignosis wrote:

Quin wrote:Shit Epi, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Still, your neighbour needs a...talking to.

The policeman said she said this: "Well, at least their grass will grow back greener."

Thanks for your services, lady.

Epi will the grass really grow back or will the neighbor have to sod your yard? And I take it they are going to rebuild your fence?

I don't want sodding anything from a neighbor who burns stumps with cooking oil on a dry windy day.

And no, the grass should be fine.

And it's not our fence. Belongs to the people behind us.

Quin wrote:Shit Epi, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Still, your neighbour needs a...talking to.

The policeman said she said this: "Well, at least their grass will grow back greener."

Thanks for your services, lady.

Golden wrote:Sounds like the Fire Department did their job admirably. I'm very glad to hear that all is well in the house (and Mordor is a decent memento).

Fire departments around here kick ass. They are filled with guys who from childhood aspired to be nothing else but firemen. I grew up with several of them.

You know that house we just bought?

It almost burned to the ground.

I'm not kidding.

You see, I bought a propane grill for the first time this weekend, and used it Saturday night. It went well, although the food could've been better I guess.

The next morning we went to church. I had to play the bass and fill in for the pastor. Busy morning.

On the drive back, we encountered fire trucks at the entrance of our cul-de-sac.

"Oh dear God, I've only been here a few months and I've already taken out part of the neighborhood."

I held my breath as I turned the corner.

The house was still standing (I'm in it right now). There were two trucks blocking our driveway. I had to get out and find out what was the matter.

"Are you Mr. Brown?"

"Aw shit..." "Yes."

Turns out a nearby neighbor decided to burn a tree stump with cooking oil and, since it's been dry and windy lately, the wind carried the flames into all the neighbors' yards. We are on a cul-de-sac that is inside a circular street, so we have neighbors and then we have neighbors roundabout us. The fence behind us is charcoal. The trees are scorched. The grass is black.

The fire came within five feet of our home.

Our backyard looks like Mordor.

thellama73 wrote:It's a phrase of my own invention. My new life goal is to inject it into the public consciousness.

It came from me last Friday.

juliets wrote:Pistig hr a a tet tosee i smtg is wng wit mycmuter.

You should get that checked out.

juliets wrote:Speaking of those thread games, would this be a good time to say I don't understand half of them? Like Film Association for instance. The latest entries are "Animal House" followed by "Eraserhead". So, the movie Eraserhead can somehow be associated with Animal House? I can't think of two more dissimilar movies. Is that the point? I'm lost. End of small rant.

http://www.mafiathesyndicate.com/viewto ... ?f=25&t=57

Noon any day of the week.

juliets wrote:

Epignosis wrote:

juliets wrote:On a totally different subject I wish it were 6:00 so I could have a glass of wine.

What's so special about six?

It's the first acceptable time on a week day to have a drink.

I exhibit very unacceptable behavior.

juliets wrote:On a totally different subject I wish it were 6:00 so I could have a glass of wine.

What's so special about six?

MovingPictures07 wrote:

Metalmarsh89 wrote:

MovingPictures07 wrote:

Epignosis wrote:I know a great number of people who care nothing about football but watch every year anyway. Why?

Spoiler: show

The commercials.

I will never understand that. The whole reason I love Netflix and other similar services is the lack of commercials. Commercials suck.

I concur 100%. Commercials are the worst (except the ones with marmots in them).

Well, I wouldn't argue with that exception.

The commercials are generally tailored to be more entertaining than to actually advertise their products (which, ironically, works in their favor).

G-Man wrote:

MovingPictures07 wrote:I have never watched the Super Bowl ever before, and I have no intention of changing that today. Not because I'm contrarian, mind you, just because I have pretty much no interest in doing so. Who else is in my boat?

I'll instead most likely be working on something.

The first Super Bowl I remember watching was Super Bowl 25 between the Giants and the Bills in 1991. I have watched part or all of every Super Bowl since. I grew up in a football-watching family, so I can't imagine NOT watching the game.

I will, however, be working through a trial balance for work or some church finance documents during the game. I'll look up for commercials and when the announcers sound excited.

That was the first one I ever watched! I predicted the winner correctly while my parents were wrong.

MovingPictures07 wrote:

G-Man wrote:

MovingPictures07 wrote:I have never watched the Super Bowl ever before, and I have no intention of changing that today. Not because I'm contrarian, mind you, just because I have pretty much no interest in doing so. Who else is in my boat?

I'll instead most likely be working on something.

The first Super Bowl I remember watching was Super Bowl 25 between the Giants and the Bills in 1991. I have watched part or all of every Super Bowl since. I grew up in a football-watching family, so I can't imagine NOT watching the game.

I will, however, be working through a trial balance for work or some church finance documents during the game. I'll look up for commercials and when the announcers sound excited.

Generally, sports was a very, very little part of my household growing up, practically nonexistent. Sports were never on, including the Super Bowl. Neither of my parents care remotely about the NFL, NBA, etc., or about sports in general. But I say all of this with one big exception in mind (other than the Olympics, which my mom liked watching but my dad didn't).

I grew up systematically watching tennis with my parents, who both played when they were in their teens and 20s. So tennis grand slams (Wimbledon, Roland Garros, and the U.S. Open... Australian Open was the one usually left out) were an annual pastime with my parents, but especially my mom, and we bonded over that. So I can understand it being enjoyable and habitual in that regard, even ritual-esque. But other than that, I find it difficult to understand the appeal of the Super Bowl and most other sports things.

I am incredibly athletically challenged and grew up in an environment that cared almost as little about sports as possible (my dad even often spoke of most sports with some level of contempt, saying he liked them when he was in college and such, but grew disillusioned with them), especially football (if possible, the one we all cared about the least), so watching the Super Bowl just never interested me remotely. Maybe one of these days I'll watch it, but eh, just have no motivation to do so.

I am trying to become more open-minded with sports; over the past few years I've become more interested in basketball and baseball, the latter partially because it's Daisy's version of my tennis. Re: basketball, for me it's been mostly warming up to NBA stuff; college is very meh to me except March Madness and even then I only ever cared because filling out brackets and making predictions is fun, even based on no knowledge whatsoever. I am naturally drawn much more to individual sports than team sports, but basketball and baseball are slowly becoming quasi-exceptions to that rule, though I doubt I'll ever be remotely passionate about either one. I'm loving the statistics and everything in those two. I just cannot find any interest in football though. It's so incredibly boring to me.

I know a great number of people who care nothing about football but watch every year anyway. Why?

I'm sorry, but I don't care. This has to be said. You squandered a perfect opportunity, the likes of which you may never get again.

If I had the opportunity you did, I would have taken it.

When the very first question or invitation to speak came my way, I would have moved solemnly toward the mic and uttered, "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows."

But you blew it.

Metalmarsh89 wrote:

Mongoose wrote:

A Person wrote:

Epignosis wrote:Your body + gravity + Youtube = Yoga sessions

I can't do it at home

Epi is right. YouTube is a wealth for good classes. I recommend Lesley Fightmaster channel because she has a flow ir class for every body, need, level, time amount, etc. I often do her classes when I can't make it to the studio.

I have a friend who's leading a workshop she created on yoga for rock climbers. I'm signed up and definitely attending!

I bet downward dog takes on a whole new meaning.

A Person wrote:He's gone on whole spiels because someone used the word "karma."

"A man reaps what he sows." -Galatians 6:7

A Person wrote:

Mongoose wrote:

A Person wrote:

Mongoose wrote:Pinot Noir is my favorite wine, but all my work friends (minus dear Crystal) assumed I am a white wine drinker. Oh man. Would you have assumed I'm a white wine drinker? What does this mean? Am I having a white wine crisis of faith? I don't think there is anything wrong with white wines or white wine drinkers, but that is so just so dispositively not me.

Hm, I have no idea. Maybe girl = white wine? I dunno. I'll drink any wine that isn't too sweet.

No because all of the people in the room were women. I think it's because I have a known sweet tooth, but I just don't tend to favor sweet wines.

Today I had a banana as a dessert. WTF

I can barely move my legs, my quads are like cement. That hot power yoga will do that.

I do not classify fruits as desserts personally.

That makes me wish I had access to yoga as a form of exercise.

Your body + gravity + Youtube = Yoga sessions

A Person wrote:party at epi's house

No kidding. The store is remodeling and apparently they have loads of "out of season" cases that they have to get rid of ASAP. The original prices of each bottle ranged from $7.99 to $14.99.

One lady was asking me about a pinot noir, and didn't know if she'd like it, but then said, "Well for a dollar I can learn to like it." She promptly went back to get a cart.

I just scored $200 worth of wine for $17.

Tell them I said to stop.

Metalmarsh89 wrote:Obligatory random bump.

I hope you don't find one of those after a one night stand.

DharmaHelper wrote:Anybody got any goodfam?

No.

DharmaHelper wrote:Happy Christmas to you and yours Rob.

I'm not half as poetic nor do I have anything quite as monumental to share, but this Christmas did mark a very special moment, for me at least.

Today for the first time in 23 years I made my mother Christmas dinner. We ate beef stroganoff and hot bread, with mashed potatoes. I made strawberry salad, and Aces made a lemon cheesecake. It's small, and by no stretch elegant, but just recalling it now I'm moved to tears, genuinely. I love my mother very much and I tell her every day, but today I was given a rare opportunity to show her instead. I'm very proud of the meal we made for her, but the thing I'm proudest of is that she didn't lift a finger today. She did teach me how to cut green onions though.

I share this with you all because I love my family more than myself. And in no small part you too are my family. A lesson I learned today is that no act of love is small, because by its very nature love is vast and infinite and beautiful. I'm happy.

Merry Christmas. Love.

I'm a cook, so this resonated with me. There is an inherent love in preparing food for other people. I hope you continue it.

And please tell your mother some stranger on the Internet with a Skeletor face said "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year."

Merry Christmas you lovely animals.

I am sitting upstairs in my own room now. It is quiet. The din of Christmastime has waned.

The night we moved in, I, exhausted from carrying every piece of furniture and remaining item from there to here, sat for the first time in my rocking chair by the fireplace. My wife has described our present circumstances as "surreal," but not me. I felt I was home from that very moment. This was my place. I sat there and just listened to the house. Houses make noises. They groan a little and whisper. The appliances, hi-tech as they are, make their own degree of noises, far less ghostly. I sat in my chair for hours and just listened to all of it. Those were- are- the sounds of my home.

Buying a house is no fun. We had a lending team that almost ruined everything. They would tell us we had all our documents in only to tell us later we needed something else, and they did that multiple times. They received documents that they wouldn't submit to underwriting until three days later. They pushed back our closing date. Fortunately, we had a ballsy, no-nonsense real estate agent who went to bat for us and called them to the carpet. My wife made her a cake. That's how she says "Thank you."

The kitchen window gives us a beautiful view of the sunrise through the pine trees. That first morning was glorious. I'll never forget it.

One last thing.

Today is Christmas, and I noticed something rather poignant. Our children received all manner of toys and games and things they wanted (not the array they got last year, but it was still plentiful when you factor in extended family). There was Mario and Pokemon and Rescue Bots and Potato Heads and Legos and Shopkins and so much more. As we drove back to our house from grandma's, the kids were arguing over who would be playing video games first and how long and so on. Yet when we pulled into our garage, all three of them unanimously agreed on what they wanted to do.

They just wanted to play outside.

No shiny new toys. No electronics. No gimmicky objects covered in plastic and Made in China. They happily spent the rest of daylight riding beat up old scooters and tricycles in a safe front yard cul-de-sac. Then when it got dark they came into the garage and played a while there. It wasn't until after their baths that I had to remind them of their Christmas presents.

When I explained this incredible observation to them, Simon thought they were all in trouble because he thought it meant they weren't grateful for their presents.

No son. We're finally happy for you.

Things are different now.

Things are quiet now.

juliets wrote:

Epignosis wrote:I'm partial to HPs myself.

Ah yes, there is a new HP that got a good review from The Verge. I may take a look at it, though I'm leaning Mac. I'm just so tired of dealing with these damn windows 10 updates that don't take and are glitchy.

Install Windows 7 and leave it be. That's what I've done.

I'd go back to XP if it came to it over 10.

I'm partial to HPs myself.

DharmaHelper wrote:That fucking time Epignosis responded to literally every single one of my posts in a color coded pissing contest in Death Note Mafia was pretty lit

That took me nine hours. I'm not kidding.

Fun times.

Firstborn is months away from double digits.

I tremble. I quake.

DharmaHelper wrote:Thats a real cool name.

Right? It's like when you're doing really well, but not to the extent of showing off.

Ex. "That ball player is going hamish on his opponents."

Metalmarsh89 wrote:After years of trying, I've finally been able to enjoy the taste of whiskey, the past couple weeks.

Eloh had her very first shot two nights ago.

She wore half of it and had to change her shirt.

To my amazement, she said she liked it.

juliets wrote:Glad you updated us Eloh and that's great about the closing date! Earlier than you expected! I hope that means you can take your time and move over like a week instead of everything at once on one day.

Have you met



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Oh man my sides hurt.

thellama73 wrote:It's one of my life's ambitions to one day be a creepy old man with a secret heart of gold, like in Home Alone.

You just want to hit burglars with snow shovels.

thellama73 wrote:Good job, Lorab! My sister got breast cancer last year and I agree with you that cancer does indeed suck. She's fine now, though.

I came in here to tell a lighthearted story about a medical emergency that happened in my apartment complex last night, but things are pretty heavy in here right now, so maybe I'll wait.

I think we could do with a bit of mirth. Do tell.

Golden wrote:Hey all

Just want to let everyone know who hears about the earthquake that me and my family are safe. My city (Wellington) felt it pretty strong and did take a decent amount of damage in some areas, but there haven't been any serious injuries or deaths here.

Closer to the epicentre, the town of Kaikoura which is a very picturesque tourist town seems to be completely munted (the New Zealand term for being completely fucked by an earthquake) and many roads are going to take a lot to repair. There are a couple of deaths in the south island too, sadly.

Good to hear from you! Glad you are safe.

I wasn't supposed to post that, but I'm not sorry- it needed posting. The Syndicate has a magnanimous, generous person among its ranks, and I can't sit still.

The mail ran very late today. I went out to get it not long ago (don't worry- the mailbox is still there).

While Eloh was crying stunned tears of relief, I was racing to consider what I could possibly say that would convey the magnitude of our thanksgiving. The postmark all but gave you away.

I want you to understand what you did.

You eliminated weeks of financial uncertainty that coincided with an upcoming period of transition, during which we would attempt to sell or pawn anything we had to in order to make that transition a reality.

You removed hours of intense number crunching from my life, my CPA-trained right hand blazing away at the number pad as it has done for over a month now.

You prevented us from opening a second line of credit in order to buy groceries and gasoline during the month of December.

You safeguarded Christmas traditions (or enabled the beginning of new ones).

You have, as you put it so simply, blessed us.

All I can think to do, beyond writing this, is match the extent of the generosity you have shown to us to others in the future. I don't know how and I don't know when, but we will find a way to do that. God's blessings are not standing water- they are a river, and rivers flow elsewhere.

We are humbled. We are encouraged. We are moved. We are moving.

And we will not forget what you have done.

-Rob and Tasha

A Person wrote:

Epignosis wrote:

A Person wrote:

Epignosis wrote:We just got the call. The owners accepted all the terms of our proposal except that they met us in the middle regarding their asking price and offer.

That sounds pretty great! Is the new offer doable?

The paperwork will be prepared tonight.

congrats! When ya moving in?

We still have to inspect the property. Assuming no setbacks, we're shooting for a few days before Christmas.

A Person wrote:

Epignosis wrote:We just got the call. The owners accepted all the terms of our proposal except that they met us in the middle regarding their asking price and offer.

That sounds pretty great! Is the new offer doable?

The paperwork will be prepared tonight.

We just got the call. The owners accepted all the terms of our proposal except that they met us in the middle regarding their asking price and offer.

G-Man wrote:That's awesome! Any idea when you might hear back on the offer?

The real estate agent had to call the owner to figure out how to deal with the alarm (it was going off the entire time we were looking at the property because of some sort of malfunction), and when the agent told the owner that an offer might be put on the house, the agent told us the owner was over the moon (the house has been on the market for 111 days).