The Syndicate

Golf

Good news everyone! The town wins! What's that? I don't have to stay in character anymore? Well, phooey.

But seriously, that was a fun game. I had no idea who anyone was (well, except Blooper as Amy Wong :P), but it made me unreasonably happy that llama was Hedonismbot. And now, reading MP's dissection of the game, I realize how much I have to learn about Mafia...

Golf

Well, I suppose if you want something done right, you have to start it yourself. I'm voting Fry, and I encourage everyone to place votes either there or for Nibbler.

Golf

Calculon wrote:
Professor Farnsworth wrote:Sigh, I didn't want to do this, but with three votes on Nixon, I have no choice. Witness my latest invention: the Pocket Evilometer! I've had access to this the entire game, allowing me to determine which of our group is evil! [I am the cop.]

Now, my scans were fooled by the evildoer when it came to Scruffy. The Jack of All Trades has a one-shot Framing Device, which he used to make our dearly departed janitor appear as part of the Mafia. That's why I joined the cause when it came to snuffing the Scruff. But I can confirm that Hermes, Morbo, and Nixon are all good beings. Hermes has confirmed that Calculon is the other Mason, and I've just claimed my own civilian nature. That leaves Fry and Nibbler.

Nibbler has been silent, which we can read one of two ways. In the first, he's been silenced by Fry; in the second, he's the remaining evil and has chosen to stay under wraps. I noticed that Nibbler didn't contribute to the conversation on Day 3, which suggests he may have been silenced then. But he also hasn't yet spoken today.

Nibbler! Speak, or forever hold your peace!
These are bold claims, Professor. However, I do not think the talking pet is evil. He was the first one to vote for Zapp during day 2 and he was also one of the early voters of the Robot Devil. This makes me think that if what you say is true, Fry may be the remaining evil one. What concerns me, however, is that if you have had this invention the whole time, why did you vote for Richard Nixon on day 3, if you are now confirming that Ol' Tricky Dick is good?

Your calculations are excellent, Calculon, and I'm tempted to believe you are correct about Fry. It pains me to put an end to the old flesh and blood, but what must be done what must be done. I voted for Nixon at that time because, despite my genius, the device has a nasty recharge rate. I can only confirm one person per night as good or evil, and I hadn't yet gotten around to him. In fact, he just checked out as good last night!

Golf

Sigh, I didn't want to do this, but with three votes on Nixon, I have no choice. Witness my latest invention: the Pocket Evilometer! I've had access to this the entire game, allowing me to determine which of our group is evil! [I am the cop.]

Now, my scans were fooled by the evildoer when it came to Scruffy. The Jack of All Trades has a one-shot Framing Device, which he used to make our dearly departed janitor appear as part of the Mafia. That's why I joined the cause when it came to snuffing the Scruff. But I can confirm that Hermes, Morbo, and Nixon are all good beings. Hermes has confirmed that Calculon is the other Mason, and I've just claimed my own civilian nature. That leaves Fry and Nibbler.

Nibbler has been silent, which we can read one of two ways. In the first, he's been silenced by Fry; in the second, he's the remaining evil and has chosen to stay under wraps. I noticed that Nibbler didn't contribute to the conversation on Day 3, which suggests he may have been silenced then. But he also hasn't yet spoken today.

Nibbler! Speak, or forever hold your peace!

Golf

Dr. Zoidberg wrote: Although you are wrong in suspecting me, for reasons I have explained, I'll entertain your theory when applied to Nixon's situation. What else makes him bad?

Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!

Morbo, if this is an attack on Nixon, it's weaker than the United State's "victory" over the Vietnamese! This reads to me as a request for more information from Scruffy, not an attempt to pressure the President. Moreover, if Nixon really were scum, I'd imagine he'd be more subtle about his kill, especially given that he'd be the last remaining evildoer.

Golf

Fry wrote:Why Prof, are you scum? :O

But anyway if Nibbler has been silenced why not Morbo too? Can't they vote? This silencing jig is too messy!

Conveniently obfuscating stupidity. If you refer to the instructions on my What-If Machine, you'll see that the Jack of All Trades receives only a one-shot Silentification Ray. It's possible that no one is silenced, but I'd appreciate exploring that possibility. What's more, we should have everyone's input on this crucial vote.

Golf

Fry wrote:I have no idea how Day 3 fits in with Richie Nix. If I recall correctly Robot Devil was caught red-handed trying to save his teammate on the previous day. If it was all but a foregone conclusion that Robot Devil was scum to the eyes of everyone, it's a goldeb opportunity to grab some sweet townie points.

So I'm picking Richie Nix now unless someone else have something to offer.

And I thought I was lazy!

Fry, you idiot, you're making a point and then immediately refuting it! I agree that if Nixon were really scum, he would have bussed the Devil on a foregone conclusion. But he didn't, which weakens your case for his evil. So why cast your vote on him?

Also, now that the masons have confirmed, it's crucial that we hear from everyone within the next few hours. According to my What-If Machine, the remaining Mafia could be the Jack of All Trades, who can silence a player. If someone doesn't speak, we can assume that he has been silenced and is therefore town. That might help narrow down the list of suspects. Ah, sweet logic!

Golf

Richard Nixon's Head wrote:Putting pressure on Hermes

Arooooooooo

I'm willing to forgive Hermes for his vote; he proved to have the best intuitions of all of us about Scruffy, and he has role-claimed mason. I would like to hear more from our alien friend, the one they call Nibbler. I have a bad feeling about Fry, and perhaps that Nibblonian has insight.

If he does not respond, perhaps he's been silenced by the mafia?

Golf

Fry wrote:I think it's the Professor. Also I mispelled the word on my previous post. Someone make sense for me, please.

Professor
Richie Nix
Morbo
Nibbler

That's my ranking.

Now Fry, just because I always thought I'd have a hand in the apocalypse doesn't mean I had a hand in this one! And when everyone but Hermes placed a vote on Scruffy, I'm not sure why you've singled me out.

Honestly, I think it's rather suspicious that you're relying on Calculon's word to confirm Hermes. You're asking our masons to reveal themselves for little benefit, which makes them excellent choices for scum should the game continue another night.

Golf

Scruffy wrote:
Scruffy was just a wrong vanilla janitor. Kill me if you must but nothing good will come out of it. I would like the other mason thingy to reveal and for the two to verify. If this doesn't happen, it's utpo whether you believe Hermes or not in a game where we may not even have Masons.

Scruffy thinks calling his votes baseless is also rude and inaccurate. The chewing rodent was suspicious and when I voted him, poor Scruffy was contested. I believe the response was "Scruffy actually enforced his suspicions with a vote, good". How does something like that change Scruffy's opinions? Thus the Chewing rodent had my vote twice.

After the Rodent helped kill and evil doer, Scruffy thought that he would look for something new. Remembering what the Captain had said, the Captain barely mentioned names outside of Amy, them Mafia goons, and Nixon. Why wouldn't I vote there?

Scruffy will be back in a moment. Need to go rince my wash bucket.

I believe that further claiming would just make it easier for the remaining Mafia member to choose good targets, assuming we don't get him on this next go-around. And I feel fairly confident that it is in fact you! Yes, you supported your suspicions with a vote the first time, but you simply coasted on the second day, providing little input for the town cause. Conveniently enough, the second day is when we succeeded in murdering the evil captain to death! For the meantime, I will *vote Scruffy,* unless I hear something more convincing.

Golf

Fry wrote:If you loom at the tallies he almost always votes first and he spearheaded the Amy Wong lynch(get it, Wong, wrong)? Anyway, Zapp and Robot Devil voted for that person(Nibbler or Professor or Dr. Zoidberg, need to recheck) because they knew Amy was going to prove as a Wong lynch.

My case is awesome!

Hmm... even a blind squirrel can find a few nuts every once in a while. Although Scruffy didn't spearhead Amy's lynch, perhaps he thought he didn't have to, given the earlier Robot Mafia vote? I'm willing to entertain this supposition.

Golf

Hermes Conrad wrote:Since nobody's sayin' nothin', I'll also point out dat it is impossible fah me to be bad, since I'm a town mason!

As opposed to a Mafia Godfather? *fiddles with the What-If Machine* Why, I suppose it's possible that you could be either, given the collapse of the quantum-dramatical waveforms.

This back-and-forth between Fry and Zoidberg has me worried, however. What's to stop the remaining fiend from claiming allegiance to our cause? I think we should rely on solid scientific deduction before we resort to faith in unverifiable claims. I thought we abolished that in the 22nd century!

Golf

Good news, everyone! The Robot Devil was actually evil! I never thought I'd say this, but I was too smart for my own good in thinking about my vote placement.

And rest in peace, Bender. If I have one regret in my advanced age, it's that I never actually bit your shiny metal ass. The only lifeforms with which he interacted before his demise were Hermes, Nibbler, and Scruffy. Could one of them decided to deactivate his circuitry?

Golf

Calculon wrote:I am going to be voting for the robot devil! His last minute vote on a civilian was not good acting form in the slightest!

It certainly wasn't good acting form, but it did draw all sorts of attention. I'm worried that we're going with the most convenient target instead of the mastermind behind the Robot Mafia votes. Or should I say, master head? I want to hear more from Nixon about why he voted Robot Mafia in the first place. His rationale sounded like some meaningless political screed, completely unscientific. *votes Nixon*

Golf

Robot Devil wrote:
Professor Farnsworth wrote:I don't trust any of the votes on the Robot Mafia. I think Hermes is trying to make a mountain of a molehill from the Robot Mafia's response without my patented Mountain Maker, which is a clear mistake. I'll stick with my brain-gut and vote Zapp!
Speaking in defense of the bastard that never had the coconuts to take my deal?

Why, the Robot Devil took umbrage with my vote on the scoundrel as well! You have some explaining to do, sir.

But despite the good news, everyone, that we lynched Zapp, we wouldn't have even had a tie without the early votes on the Robot Mafia from Nixon and Dr. Zoidberg. I notice they're leading the charge against the Robot Devil this time around. They were wrong then, so could they be wrong now?

Golf

I don't trust any of the votes on the Robot Mafia. I think Hermes is trying to make a mountain of a molehill from the Robot Mafia's response without my patented Mountain Maker, which is a clear mistake. I'll stick with my brain-gut and vote Zapp!

Golf

Morbo wrote:MORBO HAS NO WISH TO CHANGE HIS VOTE! MORBO IS PERPLEXED AND ENRAGED THAT THE ROBOT MAFIA HAS THREE VOTES, TWO WITH VERY LITTLE REASONING BEHIND THEM! MORBO FIND'S BRANNIGAN'S SELF-PRESERVATION VOTE REASONABLE HOWEVER!

My colleague with the lesser doctorate at least justified his suspicion by claiming the Robot Mafia to be overly defensive. President Nixon gave little reasoning at all besides his anti-robot prejudice! I find this disturbing, as robots are very useful for doing all of the dirty and unpleasant work we humans can't be bothered with. Nixon, do you have more of an agenda than you're letting on?

Golf

Dr. Zoidberg wrote:Friends, I don't disagree with the reasoning behind this lynch, since attempting to save Amy without voting for the second top lynch candidate is quite interesting, but if I recall correctly, this Zapp Brannigan woman had a thing for Amy. Could he have placed his vote out of love?

(Roleplay aside - could Zapp have voted against lynching Amy for roleplay purposes although he/she agreed she was the most suspicious and fully expected her to be lynched?)

Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!

Pah! I suppose it's possible, but then again, so is there existing a parallel universe in which everyone is female! Oh wait, I found that during the Parabox Incident... Doesn't matter! He could have voted for someone with more votes if he truly expected her to feel our wrath.

Golf

Zapp Brannigan wrote:
Robot Mafia wrote:The Donbot don't like a whole lot of sudden movement against that there captain. He says to cool your jets.
This titillating robot makes little sense! Why would he vote for me and then tell others to not vote for me?

You're still on my radar, captain. If I understand the Robot Mafia's point--and my degree in Robotology assures me that I do--he was worried about so many others voting you so quickly. Perhaps he fears that one of your evil compatriots has joined the bandwagon to make him, her, or itself look less suspicious?

Golf

Dr. Zoidberg wrote:
Richard Nixon's Head wrote:I see you all have got a..."head" start on me while I was away!
Hwuwuwuwuwuwueh

Let it be known that all perpetrators of violence will be swiftly punished by Vice President Agnew; it is my presidential decree that all bad robots, humans and cyborgs must let their presence be known, or else I will mock them into the 8th sun of Darnassus.

Aroooooooooooooooooooooooo
Oh, I'm being ignored again.

What you need is this fish pheromone. The most potent aphrodisiac in all of fishkind! That should keep you busy while those of us with real doctorate discuss the matter at hand. I just need to turbocharge the matter compressor first...

There we go! Now, I want to talk about this Zapp Brannigan. He claimed to vote for the Robot Mafia to save Amy, even though the arithmetic made no contribution to her safety. If he truly believed in Amy's innocence—well, in terms of the explosion, anyway—why didn't he vote for Nibbler, which would have kept her out of the lead? All bluster and no action, this one. But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

Golf

Sweet, stupid Amy. I can hardly believe she's gone. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Though I suppose I can harvest Hedonismbot for various spare parts. Science marches on!

Golf

Zapp Brannigan wrote:
Professor Farnsworth wrote:
Zapp Brannigan wrote:
Robot Mafia wrote:The lack of votes in the poll at this time concerns me.
What disturbs me is why you would want to accuse a sweet, innocent Martian girl of such a heinous crime! And it has nothing to do with the lovely Miss Wong being betrothed to my underling Kif! I do not honor traditional monogamous relationships anyways! Zapp Brannigan is far too sexy for one woman, let alone one species.

It also seems odd that that foul-mouthed, ignorant, atrocious robot trying to steal my fame has yet to enter! Bender hasn't said a word either! Nixon and Headless Agnew are conspicuously absent as well. Now, I'm no detective, though I clearly could be if I wanted to, given my propensity for brilliant deductive reasoning as a seasoned ship captain, but something about that is making my Captain's sense itch. Kif, get the powder!
How curious... It's almost as if you want these individuals to make an appearance, thereby transferring the attention of everyone from you to them! All this speculation is giving me a raging brainer!
Why would I ever want to call attention away from myself? I'm the star of this show, baby! All eyes on me, especially if you're a babe! But not you, old man. You're gross and not my type! Kif, see this man off!

B-but, sir, I'm not your bodyguard.

Guess what! You've been promoted! I'll give you a raise if you do it by the scruff of his collar and pants!

I'm voting for the Robot Mafia, as it is my duty as the unnamed hero, Zapp Brannigan, to sexily save the damsel in distress!

As usual, the bumbling fool takes an action contrary to his established goals. Voting for the Robot Mafia does nothing, you golden-toupeed nancy! What an idiot I was! And by "I", I meant "you"!

I suppose it's up to me to keep my crew out of danger. Amy, get in the safety sphere. I'm afraid our janitor is on to something with his suspicion of the alien. *votes Nibbler*

Golf

Robot Mafia wrote: Maybe you know he's not evil because you are evil. What's that you got in that there box over there?

What, this box? I don't know what's in there, but I'm sure our minds would be unable to comprehend it. I thought I told Leela to make sure no one got close to that—oh, right. I suppose I'd best be taking it myself, then.

Zapp Brannigan wrote:
Robot Mafia wrote:The lack of votes in the poll at this time concerns me.
What disturbs me is why you would want to accuse a sweet, innocent Martian girl of such a heinous crime! And it has nothing to do with the lovely Miss Wong being betrothed to my underling Kif! I do not honor traditional monogamous relationships anyways! Zapp Brannigan is far too sexy for one woman, let alone one species.

It also seems odd that that foul-mouthed, ignorant, atrocious robot trying to steal my fame has yet to enter! Bender hasn't said a word either! Nixon and Headless Agnew are conspicuously absent as well. Now, I'm no detective, though I clearly could be if I wanted to, given my propensity for brilliant deductive reasoning as a seasoned ship captain, but something about that is making my Captain's sense itch. Kif, get the powder!

How curious... It's almost as if you want these individuals to make an appearance, thereby transferring the attention of everyone from you to them! All this speculation is giving me a raging brainer!

Golf

Hermes Conrad wrote:
Robot Mafia wrote: Get a load of this guy, huh? Telling us what to do but not doing anything about it.

Robot Mafia wrote:The general lack of noisiness on this planet is causing my hard drive boil. Joey Mousepad, I want you to find some answers.

Sure thing, boss.
Deez sings are related, mon! How am I supposed to do someting when nobody's talkin'?

Guess I'll start off de suspishionizin' too: Farnsworth said he agreed wit Robot Mafia, but his post also reads dat he tinks my claim makes me look bad! Robot-Mon actually sed it made me look good. So dat's a contradiction.

Also, most people reacted in some way to me claim, but Amy joked it off and left it at dat. It gets mah jeeblahs jangling' just a bit.

That's Professor Farnsworth to you, simpleton! I agreed with my rotund robot friend and his clamping associate that your claim to evil seemed premature. Which means I believe you're not actually evil. I know double negatives are complicated, but I'm afraid you'll have to use... MATH.

Golf

Hmmm, I wonder what Calculon has calculated as the odds of Hermes actually being evil? He seems to be inert, so we must reintroduce his programming to his body using science! I'll need to get a spare circuit board out of a mechanical goat, but it should work...

HAIL SCIENCE!

Golf

Hermes Conrad wrote:Ras H. Safari! What's going' on in 'eah?

Poor Lila!

Since we're supposed to be role dumpin', allow me to break de ice: I am a Mafia Godfaddah. Debate.

Poor Hermes! All that space marijuana must have scrambled his brain! A Grade 36 Bureaucrat would never use the indefinite article "a" instead of the definite article "the" when describing a one-of-a-kind position. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm afraid I must agree with the Robot Mafia.

Golf

Amy Wong wrote:Nooooooo, Kif!! How could you leave me alone with all of these old men?? Bleckkkk!

*slaps Amy's butt* Indeed, it is baby soft! Errr, what was that you said? I'm sorry, I must have left my hearing glasses in another safety sphere.

Golf

Good news, everyone! I somehow managed to make it out alive! And I have managed to access this strange fifth-dimensional "bulletin board" to put my thoughts into written form! I encourage you all to do the same, but I must be the first.

The Syndicate

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