The Syndicate

I'm Perd Hapley I'm a reporter of Channel 4 eye witness news, but for the next two hours I'll be the host of this telethon.

The story of this next dance is...

Oh my, something is occurring that is interrupting my dance. It seems an older gentleman is clutching at his chest. It almost looks as if he is experiencing chest pains. And oh... oh my. The story now is that it appears he is passing gas. He is passing large amounts of gas. So much that this reporter can no longer report the news of this... fart attack.

We'll resume after these commercial messages.
It is now Night 5.

The thread is now locked for the next 24 hours. If you have an active power, send in your PM.

You are watching the news, and I am Perd Hapley reporting the news you are watching.

I am here at the Pawnee Public Library with more news to report of yet another murder. Tonight the body of Ron Swanson was found. I have been informed that someone hit him over the head repeatedly with a book. That someone was a person named Tammy, who witnesses say stripped down naked as she beat the victim to death.

I'm Perd Hapley, and now I know that books can be used as weapons of murder.
It is now Day 5.

You have 48 hours to lynch a murderer.

Welcome back to The Perdple's Court.

Tonight we've once again listened to the testimony of these witnesses and the jury has cast their votes. Leslie Knope claims that Jerry Gergich is the worst person ever and Jerry Gergich responded that Ms. Knope is not very nice. Those were both arguments that I found compelling.

Now let's turn to the jury to receive the verdict. It seems there is a tie vote again in which both Ms. Knope and Mr. Gergich received the same number of votes as each other. That means I will decide the winner making the other person the loser. And that loser would be Ms. Leslie Knope. To make it official, I will now bang my little judge hammer.



I'm Judge Perd and this is The Perdple's Court.
It is now Night 4.

The thread is now locked for the next 23 hours and 45 minutes. If you have an active power, send in your PM.

You are watching the news, and I am Perd Hapley reporting the news you are watching.

I am here at the Pawnee Hospital to tell you a shocking story that will shock you. Tonight, while giving a flu shot to a patient, a local nurse was attacked by that patient. Witnesses described a man, in jeans and a black tank top, with multiple tattoos and gray hair as the attacker who attacked the nurse. They said she reached for his arm to give him the flu shot and he jumped off the bed, grabbed the needle and stabbed her in the neck with it. He was detained by Pawnee police and his blood work shows he had a variety of drugs in his system. While they were questioning him, he indicated that he had been paid to do it, but before he could answer he died of a drug overdose.

I'm Perd Hapley, and now I'm not going to get my flu shot this year.
It is now Day 4.

You have 48 hours to lynch a murderer.

Who is a murderer?

Poll ended at Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:00 pm


Andy Dwyer
0
No votes

Ann Perkins
0
No votes

Ben Wyatt
0
No votes

Bobby Newport
0
No votes

Chris Traeger
6
Ron Swanson (4), Leslie Knope (5), Bobby Newport (7), Jerry Gergich (8), Donna Meagle (10), Jean-Ralphio (15) 40%

Donna Meagle
0
No votes

Jean-Ralphio
0
No votes

Jerry Gergich
2
Ben Wyatt (9), Chris Traeger (14) 13%

Leslie Knope
1
Andy Dwyer (2) 7%

Ron Swanson
0
No votes

Tom Haverford
0
No votes

*Unvote*
0
No votes

*No Lynch*
0
No votes

Greg Pikitis! (hosts, deadies, non-players)
6
MovingPictures07 (1), JaggedJimmyJay (3), a2thezebra (6), Quin (11), juliets (12), motel room (13) 40%
Total votes : 15

Missing votes: Ann Perkins, Tom Haverford

Welcome back to Ya Heard? With Perd. I'm Perd Hapley, and I am about to report the news.

Pawnee City Manager Chris Traeger has been found dead this evening. While going out on an evening jog, he was apparently stabbed to death, continuing a recent trend of murdered people dying. I am being informed that his last words were "my body is a microchip".
It is now Night 3.

The thread is now locked for the next 24 hours. If you have an active power, send in your PM.

Welcome back to The Perdple's Court.

Tonight we've listened to the testimony of these witnesses and the jury has cast their votes. Leslie Knope claims that Jeremy Jamm is a terrible human being and Councilman Jamm responded that Ms. Knope is a big doo doo head. Those were both arguments that I found compelling.

Now let's turn to the jury to receive the verdict. It seems there is a tie vote in which both Ms. Knope and Councilman Jamm received the same number of votes as each other. That means I will decide the winner making the other person the loser. And that loser would be Councilman Jeremy Jamm. To make it official, I will now bang my little judge hammer.



I'm Judge Perd and this is The Perdple's Court.
It is now Night 2.

The thread is now locked for the next 23.5 hours. If you have an active power, send in your PM.

I have just been given breaking news tonight out of the Parks and Recreation Department.

I'm told that City employee Craig Middlebrooks was found dead at his desk. According to this paper that I am reading this statement from, his body was found slumped over with an open bottle of pills spilled around him. According to the label on the bottle, they were mood stabilizers. It seems however, that someone switched the pills inside for poison. Since someone was trying to kill him that makes this murder.

And I, being a reporter of the news, am officially declaring this a homicide.

A recent poll we took asked citizens of Pawnee, "If you switch someone's pills who is not trying to kill himself, with other pills which may or may not be poison, and that person may or may have taken them, do you believe that person is dead?"

22% said yes, 16% said no, and 62% said they did not understand the question.

Seems pretty clear what public opinion is, and that's all the time we have left. I'm Perd Hapley.
It is now Day 2.

You have 72 hours (extended due to Thanksgiving) to lynch a murderer.

This is Perd Hapley talking to you now about what's going on today. We're live at City Hall where City Councilman Dexhart is addressing his latest sex scandal.

=========================================================================================================================

Bill Dexhart: "Recently certain allegations have come to light about my inappropriate conduct. I'm here to set the record straight. I totally did all of it.

I also engaged in inappropriate texting, sexting, and Tex-Mexting, which is where you send photos of your junk from the restroom of a Chili's To-Go. Does this make me a bad boy? You tell me. No, really. Tell me, it gets me off when women tell me that."

(Several gunshots were then heard.)

=========================================================================================================================

Wow. This is quite the development as one of Bill Dexhart's mistresses yelled "you murderer cocksucker, go to hell" before shooting him three times with a gun. Councilman Dexhart is dead.

I am Perd Hapley, and I will continue to report the news to all of you, as that is my job.
It is now Night 1.

The thread is now locked for the next 24 hours. If you have an active power, send in your PM.

Ron Swanson wrote:Also, while not clear if mafia have contact during the Day (Host?)

I have spoken with the giant sock that hosts this game of mafia, and he informed me that the members of the mafia not only have contact behind the scenes with each other during the Night, but also during the Day.

This is Perd Hapley with Channel 4 eyewitness news. Let's begin today's morning show by starting it.

I am reporting shocking news as I tell you that the police are shocked to find that Li'l Sebastian was brutally murdered last night. The police are opening an investigation into the murder and have no suspects. Anyone who has any information pertaining to this investigation should pass that information to the proper authorities.

The story of this news is that I am upset, but I will continue to provide updates with new information as the police give those updates to me so that I can report them.

That's it for now. I am Perd Hapley, and this is my first time crying on television.


It is now Day 1.

You have 48 hours to lynch one of the players behind this horsey murder.