The Syndicate

I'm super glad to hear that the Mods are taking this seriously (and had no doubt that that was the case), but I'm also a really strong proponent of just talking shit out, taking it out of the backrooms and the PMs and getting it into the open. I think the Mods do a fantastic job here (I really, really do), but I think that issues of site culture (which this is) can only be satisfactorily addressed by having the internet forum equivalent of a big, fat, family meeting. We need to talk about this as a community, I think. Remind each other that we all actually really like and respect each other. Call each other out when we're not living up to being the kind of friends/players/opponents we expect (and deserve) each other to be. I think the MoD function works brilliantly in the heat of the moment, but I think the missing component thus far is the community actually sitting down (metaphorically speaking) and fucking talking it out. Passive aggressiveness breeds more passive aggressiveness. Snark breeds more (and nastier) snark. Talking honestly and openly breeds understanding. I don't want to be stepping on Mod toes, or overlooking or discounting the work that you're all doing, but I just wanted a space where I could say what I'm seeing, and talk to people about it. Hence this thread.

Also, this needs to becomes everyone's siggy:

thellama73 wrote: We have to do a better job of understanding each other, being sensitive to when we're coming on too strong, and trying to get where the other person is coming from.

I don't think I'm alone (though please correct me if I am) in noticing that there has been a significant increase in the level of snark, snappiness, grumpiness, and general un-funnability of several recent games on this site (and for the value of "recent" here, please substitute "in the last year or so"). To put it bluntly, I cannot think of a recent game that I've played that wasn't marked by a significant episode of nastiness, passive aggressiveness, and general unpleasantness, or where people didn't quit or threaten to quit because of this unpleasantness. Can we talk as a community about why this is, what we're seeing, what might be the cause, and (more importantly) what we can DO about it?

I know there are many of you who probably don't see or haven't experienced this issue. If so, that's fantastic for you. I'm (honestly) super happy that you are able to shrug it off as "All within the game". But I think it is undeniable that there are many people who aren't able to do so, or who feel they shouldn't HAVE to keep shrugging stuff off until their shoulders are sore. These people are quitting games, or losing interest (and thus not participating fully in games), or considering leaving the site and community entirely. I'm one of those people.

I am leaving the specifics of my issue/complaint/observation purposefully vague as I don't want this to become a thread for finger-pointing and name-calling and even more unpleasantness, nor do I think it would be useful to talk about specific incidents or games (I think this is an issue with a changing site culture, not an issue with any specific game or player). However, I DO want to make it clear that I fully and without caveat admit that I can definitely be part of the problem. Snark comes more quickly to my lips than I am proud to admit, and so I enter this discussion in full acknowledgement of my own complicity in the problem, and with a good faith intention to address it productively in the hopes of salvaging something that, when it works right, can be really awesome.

We all know and profess and endlessly repeat the adage that "It's not personal, it's mafia"... but for whatever reason, those words seem to be failing to prevent a serious souring of the community. The MoD function is a great step towards addressing this problem, but (imho) it keeps issues in the background, and prevents a (necessary) community-wide discussion of something that is growing and troubling. Mafia used to be super fun, and this site used to be a haven of good times, happy, laid back folks. I honestly don't think that is necessarily the case anymore (for me and for other people). I want to work with you all to fix it. Can you help?