The Syndicate

Kegel exercises.

What do you have with your Thanksgiving meal- stuffing, filling, or dressing?

Tuna fish, sushi, and any mayonnaise-based “salad.”

What movie are you most excited to see in the theater this year?

Any temperature. That’s one of the many reasons I don’t have a dog.

Wings or ribs?

Overdrive

If you could be a professional baseball player, what position would you like to play?

Yes.

What instrument would you like to learn to play?

Orlando Magic- I liked their colors and jerseys when I was a kid, and Orlando seems to have enough going on outside of sports to offer a star athlete a little anonymity amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Also, Florida is nice and warm for most of the year.

What is something that you fear?

Fall back. More sleep ftw! Plus Spring Forward is always right around my birthday, which sucks.

What’s the last piece of physical media that you purchased? No downloads or streams!

Does my daughter’s basketball game last weekend count? If not, then maybe two years ago at a minor league hockey game.

Which film will win Best Picture this upcoming weekend?

A letter stating that I finally finished paying off my student loans.

What color shirt are you wearing right now?

The jury is still out on how well the kids will turn out, so I’ll say traveling.

What did you think of last night’s halftime show?

As an individual, probably. I was great at school in high school and college, where learning and whatnot came easy to me. My post-college reality hasn’t lived up to what everyone seemed to suggest my potential was. But I’m a parent now, so my individual trajectory takes a back seat so I can build my kids up to hopefully realize more of their potential than I did.

What is your favorite Bond film?

I have never been pulled over for speeding. I have only ever been ticketed once for a moving violation for blowing through a stop sign.

Which state do you perceive as having the worst drivers?

Probably the orange properties on the second quarter of the board. I never seem to get any of them but I always land on them and have to pay rent, which has screwed me over several times when the second half of the board isn’t favorable to my survival.

Oops- I thought that said least favorite. My favorites are either the greens or the light blues. The greens pack a punch when collecting rent and the light blues are cheap to buy, cheap to build on, and frequently visited by my opponents.

Do you believe that Australia is the key to winning Risk?

Tails never fails. Except when it does.

Striped tie or solid color?

I own a pocket watch and a German-language New Testament that belonged to my great-great-great grandfather and are each about 150 years old.

49ers or Chiefs?

Sent a large sum of money to someone I’d never met in person.

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs?

No, but that’s because I usually pay my escrow shortfall each year. Even after doing that though, my mortgage payment has gone up a steady $7-10 a year each year as insurance costs rise.

What’s the most unique item on your regular grocery shopping list?

I had a novelty t-shirt once with an illustrated picture of a buck’s head on the front with the words: “Deer head.” On the back it said “Deer tail” and had an illustrated picture of a deer’s butt. I got that shirt into my high school year book three years out of four by wearing on student activity pictures day each year.

Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb?

17 years- at my parents house. They bought it when I was seven and I moved out at 24 when I got married.

What the worst cooking mishap you’ve ever had?

Dirty bathroom. I can’t feel clean if the place I clean up is nasty.

Who is the most famous person you ever met?

“The Things They Carried” by Tim O’Brien

In your opinion, what is the least-fashionable color?

Fun with modeling clay.

What do you tend to lead with in Rock/Paper/Scissors?

Last night it was McDonalds so Chloe and I could get to her school’s Daddy-Daughter Dance on time. Tonight will probably be chicken nuggets for the girls and chicken quesadillas for the adults.

What’s the last major appliance you replaced?

My brain, yes. My body, no.

Were you snowed in today? If so, what did you do with your day?

In-a-gadda-da-vida

Will the Alliance of American Football have a second season?

Chocolate syrup.

Would you rather clean vomit out of your child’s pajamas and sheets first thing in the morning or smell your co-worker’s microwaved fish lunch all afternoon?

Count von Count. He’s the most fun to impersonate.

Would you rather go whitewater rafting or skydiving?

I still know a little bit of German but not enough to hold a conversation.

Do you prefer writing with a pencil ir pen?

Tuesday. I have a theory about Tuesdays and Thursdays. They don’t have their own feeling. Tuesday either feels like a second Monday or an early Wednesday. Thursdays feel either like a second Wednesday or an early Friday. Since Mondays and Wednesdays oftentimes suck, Tuesdays are bound to suck no matter what.

Which Dr. Seuss character are you most like?

I had escargot for the first time on my first cruise with my wife. (We still talk about ours too!). I remember it being chewy and doused in a garlic butter sauce. I can’t say I know what it tastes like because all I tasted was garlic butter. I’ll go with no since it was chewy.

Crest or Colgate?

No. Mars is a suicide mission. Exploration? Sure. Colonization? Waste of time and resources. Everything about that planet screams inhospitable to human life. Plus, I couldn’t leave my family behind.

Gilligan’s Island or The Beverly Hillbillies?

Last time I paid for my car insurance. Two weeks ago?

Favorite two flavors of ice cream to enjoy together in the same dish?

The Stanley Cup Playoffs/Finals

Is fuchsia a real color?

Steve Urkel. He's brilliant but he is also humble-brilliant. He's of the people and has a desire to live in and around normal people. Sheldon (from what little I've seen of him) comes across as arrogant-brilliant. He acts as if he has no time for anyone who cannot comprehend the kind of mind-boggling science stuff that comes easy to him. Those kinds of smart people are douchebags.


Would you prefer to play a computer game or read a Choose Your Own Adventure book?

While I don’t think Lost should be credited with being a force for the creation of other online fan communities, I think it helped to legitimize and de-stigmatize them. Lost was aided in this by coming out at the dawn of a new era of the internet. Social media was helping spread buzz faster and people were more used to reading blogs. The mystery and spoiler factors ramped up the buzzworthiness of the show. Had season 1 not had as high a quality factor, Lost wouldn’t have been the force it was. Online fan communities existed before Lost. The show and its following just made online fan communities (for all media forms) something for more than just the nerdiest of the nerdy.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi- believe the film critics or believe the fans?

Sun was cool because her backstory wasn’t one of a ‘troubled girl’ like Kate or Claire. She rose above her father’s influence, her husband’s and culture’s domineering man-centric mindset, and really became her own person. That made it all the harder to watch as seasons 4-6 turned her into a sad widow or damsel in distress type. I also hate the fact that her daughter, in all likelihood, is being raised by Sun’s horrible parents. The writers never had a full plan in mind for the character.

Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?

14- my parents dropped me off for my first date. My girlfriend and saw Lost in Space. Apparently I was the only one interested in watching the movie.

What’s the worst beer you’ve ever drank?

North Korea

What’s your favorite Winter Olympic sport to watch?

Jacques Plante

If you could retire to any country of your choice other than your own, where would you go?

Luray Caverns in Virginia.

What’s the forecasted low for today where you live?

The Tasmanian Tiger (if it is indeed extinct).

What was the best season of Lost?

Roll my eyes at the same old headlines and wonder what the news media will cover when Trump is no longer president.

What is the strangest animal you ever saw with your own eyes?

11:00 p.m.

How much speed could a speedchuck chuck if a speedchuck could chuck speed?

Scrambled.

Which month of the year is superior to all the others?

Zero. I work mainly with pens and highlighters.

If a mime falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

No.

If a driverless car is faced with the choice of accepting a head-on collision or veering and running over pedestrians, which option should be programmed as a default course of action?