The Syndicate

What up, gangsters?

I've written the writing prompt event document.

I thought I would offer the event guidelines now so writers can get going.

Find out more about the prompts and the limitations here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15ms ... sp=sharing

The above also talks about the presentations. If you're a potential writer, this document is everything you need to get started.

The deadline to have your prompt submitted to me is SUNDAY, MAY 16.

Here is the submission form: https://forms.gle/wFiKZH81gTfDkzdw6

It is anonymous. It does not collect your email or Google account info. You can submit your prompt in an incognito window for extra assurance.

DaughterOfOmega wrote: ↑Wed May 05, 2021 10:48 am I typed up about 4000 words in a doc, didn't save and was tilted off the face of the earth. I think I may return to the topics I wanted to cover later this month. The main thing I wanted to say is that if you think things you are dealing with is something you are forced to deal with, never make that assumption. I used to have an extreme fear, and anxiety that would shake me to my core. When I was young, I thought others were also dealing with these things to the level I did, and that I just wasn't strong enough. I learned that the impact that anxiety and fear had on me was so much more extreme than what typical people go through. Medicine and some other treatments have allowed me to live what I assume is a much more common experience, and I am a functional human being now. I just want to advise people that if they are dealing with something they feel is having a massive impact on their life, don't assume you need to just overcome it, talk with a professional and try treatments if they recommend it.

Another thing I wanted to share is my eating disorder.

For about 13 years I've struggled with depression, schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety, but none of these have taken a toll on me like the eating disorder I have. When I think about all aspects of my health, physically or mentally, the feeling of uncontrollable hunger is the hardest thing. Living with extreme stress and in a toxic environment, I started to cope with food as a young kid. To cut a long story shot, my body always craves food any time I am feeling extreme emotions, and instead of dealing with the emotions I eat them away. It really got to the point where my body would be in pain if I wasn't eating if I was stressed, pains in my stomach like I hadn't eaten for days. I've let my body become something I hate, and the toll it takes on me physically, ruins my mental state. I wish I could say I've found ways to solve this and get the body I want, and to not feel this craving for eating all the time. This summer I am aiming to lose about 30lbs, I won't be able to do it on my own because I'm so weak against myself, but whenever I am in pain I will try and post on this forum to ignore it!

I am also a binge eater.

Last year, I ended up in the hospital with starvation due to my other health problems. It took two months before I had to go, and I only ended up doing so because I started throwing up water too. When asked why it took me so long to go to the ER, I realized it was more than my general distaste of going to the hospital. The feeling of extended starvation didn't feel any different from how I normally do while bingeing.

I don't share that to try and one-up you (I suspect you've felt that exact scenario too, based on what you've shared elsewhere in the past), but to provide a frame of reference to those who don't have binge eating disorder what it feels like. It is very easy to say "just eat less," but this becomes empty advice when put up against how pervasive the sensation and urge is on a daily, every-minute basis. What's particularly insidious about eating disorders is that they often recode your gut biome and the unconscious nerve triggers inside your stomach and intestine. After a while, it becomes more than a mental health issue, because it is likely that your body becomes physically attuned to that behaviour... and resists attempts to change.

For the writers and readers of TS:

https://www.mafiauniverse.com/forums/th ... instorming

I posted this on MU, but I'll copy-paste it here too since I know many of you do not frequent that site. Sorry for the impending wall.

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I don't know how to feel about this.

Whenever corporations do these campaigns, it comes across condescending and fake. With MU and TS, I at least know it's meant genuinely, but it still feels condescending. The announcement post felt like I was being talked down to.

I try to balance my perspective by observing how other people respond to campaigns like this, and it seems to be a hit with the majority. So I recognize, at least to some extent, that I'm an outlier when it comes to this.

I dunno. To be told there's always help, that I should just talk to people, that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem," it just all feels very gross. The reality is that this isn't true for a lot of people. There isn't always help. Talking doesn't always act as relief. And these "temporary problems" often aren't temporary. It's condescending to be told I've failed to access the help that's supposedly available to me, or that I just haven't figured out how to solve a temporary issue. People in crisis, or approaching crisis, certainly aren't in the best frame of mind, but can anyone really say with a straight face that there is always help? That friends and family are always available? That all problems are always temporary? If I say I can't access help, that my problems are forever or long term enough to be equivalent, am I helped if someone pats me on the head and tells me I'm wrong? Am I respected? Acknowledged? What good was that person's "awareness" if it requires belittling and discrediting me and my lived experience?

While I don't go out of my way to hide my issues, I am also cagey about sharing specifics. People who know me know that I am troubled, though not to what extent nor how. There is a reason for this. The reason is that, frankly, the vast majority of people are not equipped to deal with complicated, personal, intimate problems. If I were to follow the advice from all these campaigns, my mental health would get worse, not better, and funnily enough, that is more stigmatizing to me. It's this indictment of who I fundamentally am. I'm so broken that even the pro-help side is totally inaccessible to me. I'm told to do this, to do that, and everyone is so certain that it'll help, and I'm in the uncomfortable position of saying well, no, it doesn't help. What am I doing wrong? These tips are so universally lauded. Everyone is so sure. It's gone from mental health is fake to mental health is real, yet somehow monolithic. The help is just as nonexistent for people like me on both sides of that spectrum.

I don't exactly know where I am going with this. I guess I just wanted to voice that these things are inevitably exclusionary toward the demographic you're trying to cater to. It'll help a lot of people, and I have no doubt that it'll educate them too, but the way the campaign is structured and reasoned is inherently going to result in many falling through the cracks or being silenced, or in some cases, made to feel worse instead of better.

Just as an example... and I want to stress here that I am in no way upset with the people who came up with the idea, so apologies and what-have-you are unnecessary... but I saw a mock-up where a banner will include the mental health awareness campaign on TS. And for someone in my position, that is amazingly harmful. I'm in an active mental health crisis right now. I have been on the precipice for years. I engage in recreational activities to have fun, to give myself reasons to keep going another day. Mafia is one of those recreational activities. I don't want to access a recreational activity multiple times a day and be reminded, in big bold font, of just how miserable my life is. That I should be "aware" of being on the edge. But I don't need help being more aware. I am too aware already. I don't need to be reminded, because my mind reminds me every minute of every day.

And that's the issue, isn't it? To most reading, a big banner about mental health awareness isn't harmful. It makes mental health public. It encourages discussion. Maybe it'll help people get help with their anxiety or depression. These are net goods. And yet it can also harm the people you're wanting others to be aware of.

What's the solution? No clue. On TS, I asked for the banner to be opt out. That seems like an idea. But with all this other stuff, like the language surrounding getting help or coping, I don't have any clear solutions. It probably helps more people than it hurts, and you can't cater to every individual perspective. Maybe I am just offering this viewpoint as something to chew on, and nothing more.