As it turns out, I have the gene that makes cilantro taste like soap. Up until last week, it's always tasted bitter, but I've been on a banh mi kick lately and they often forget to omit the cilantro. It's had a distinct overpowering soap taste that ruins all other flavours.
I preferred when it was just bitter. At least then I could ignore it.
I'm going to enact my revenge when you least expect it.