The Syndicate

tutuu wrote: ↑Sun May 14, 2023 7:29 pm i'd like to share something i'm very sensitive about in an attempt to heal from it. i'd like to ask that if ur under 18 to please not read, and i'll add a trigger warning for sexual assault

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i was molested when i was 13. sexual assault via penetration. an older kid at school did it, he was 16. we didn't know each other, he just wanted to do it to someone, saw me, how weak i looked, did it to me in broad daylight in front of my friends. when my "friends" saw this, one of them, the nasty one said "they are f-ggots! run away from them!" and started running and laughing. the other "friend", a very kind hearted one but not particularly bright or an independent thinker followed his suggestion without questioning it and did the same. i haven't told anyone about this irl, i was too terrified that i was weak, i didn't wanna be seen as weak, i blamed myself for not being strong enough to retaliate. the way i coped with it is by blocking the memory out. it helped that i wasn't sexually aware at that age yet, so i didn't actually realize it was a sexual assault, i just winced at the pain and was confused why did he decide to hurt me in that weird place out of all other places he could have picked from. much later on i realized what happened to me and i'm trying a new method to cope with it, by sharing about it, trying remove power from the memory