The Syndicate

I'll write this from the perspective of someone who is not a fan(boy), by which I mean you will never hear me in my life getting hyped over a lightsaber fight or the many details, characters and wonders of such fictional universes and sagas. I did see the original trilogy on TV when I was a kid and I was guilty to have played the pod-racing PC game, after Episode I had come out, but that's about it for long-lasting enthuasiasm. Science-fiction fanboyism always drifted past me - I was chronologically more hooked on music, then cartoons, then music again, then books a bit, then music again, and nowadays snobby arthouse cinema...and music - although I guess I did watch rather rigurously Star Trek TNG as a kid and then was very fond of the Battlestar Galactica series.

That being said, I have no doubt most of the fans themselves should find TFA completely exciting and worthwhile (...except if they set their hopes to totally unreasonable standards, I suppose) and a redeeming service to the franchise, meant to create further episodes that one can be truly excited about (also, mountains of cash). I enjoyed it as well, but that does not stop me from judging the quality and impact of it, afterwards. TFA will stand the test of credibility, but I don't think it will stand the test of a great movie (on all levels) and of nitpicking.

The first thing it failed to do, unfortunately, was make me think any better of this JJ fella. See, he really grabbed the golden keys to blockbuster franchises, yet he always proves that he misses something vital. Up until now, I thought it was storytelling or such. But TFA sealed it for me: it's originality. The only time he proved that was with Lost and Fringe - but his vices instead in that case, frankly to my view, were the desire to bog down the narrative, to constantly pull mysteries out of a hat or create tension by relying on the unresolved, unexplained. But then he dreamed himself as the new Spielberg and made Super 8, which I honestly doubt can be called exciting anymore on the second or third viewing, nabbed Star Trek (and progressively made a mess out of it) and now Star Wars. This guy is simply riding on the back of great film- and franchisemakers with ease.

What TFA should have proven was a sense of original vision, maybe even an embrace of a new mythology. Instead it is refurbished Star Wars (to, no doubt, incredible results; all credits to him, in this case), it ended up being the "30-years-later / history-tends-to-repeat-itself" type of narrative, with everyone-being-someone's-someone and it was more looking back at ANH and even some bits of ESB, rather than looking forward. Probably the breaking point of ANH references to me was the tavern (? dunno what to call it) scene, down to the farking musicians. I swear my hands almost twitched to go up in the air. All the others followed, of course, to a much deeper level than that.

As for performances:

• To start with the old ones, I think Ford did a very fine job and was a good sport to put back some real emotion and acting into his [SPOILERS]last[/SPOILERS] performance of a character he wished to disassociate himself with for the past 30 years (seriously, there are articles written on this). The throwback gags were a bit too much for my taste, but they work just fine for the fans. Carrie was mneh and I don't understand why she ended up simply as an old Resistance figurehead, after being referenced in the original movies (by Yoda and Ghost Obi-Wan, I think) as the "other hope" for the Jedi, in case Luke blows it. I did not like that Hammill's cliffhanger was actually wordless, nor the cheap shotmaking of it (helicopter angles? really?), but I did like that being his only appearence in the movie nevertheless (instead of, like it was maddeningly speculated, him turning evil) and that they kept the focus on his failures and flaws, rather than making him a saviour or something (which, after all, he wasn't in the original trilogy, either).
  
  I liked the new blood, as well. I think Rey works as a new iconic figure, although Ridley's performance didn't knock me down or anything (made me think often of Keira Knighley, with all the accent, for some reason). Now, as far as the Mary Sue thing, some skills are explainable (like DH said), others seem hamfisted indeed - I don't have issues with her talents, but it detracted a bit from relating to her as a potential new bildungsroman-like character, just like with Luke. As for the Force thing, I think the mentality of the training being essential (and long in duration) was a concept forced more by the prequels (remember the kids practicing with the ball? jesus) than the original trilogy, in which Luke himself barely had weeks to train properly with Obi-Wan, then Yoda, plus behaved constantly like the avant Harry Potter of mastering anything, really. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Rey will be revealed either as Luke's daughter or perhaps his most talented youngling, back at the academy of whatevs, for which reason Luke left her on Jakku to protect her "until the time is right", just like Anakin protected his children. There was definitely insinuation that Han knew about Rey's backstory, so there ya go. The Force is strong (or native) in her and she can unlock it bordeline deus ex - no biggie.
  
  Boyega was cool, although with some stereotypical lines and exclamations. I don't understand how he was the only Stormtrooper to discover a conscience and at the exact time the storyline of the movie conveniently unfolds. I also don't get how conditioned breeding/training and discovering a conscience on your own can work together.
  
  I definitely would like more Poe Dameron. Period.
  
  I grimaced a bit at the idea of hippie Driver being behind the new baddie mask, but I ended up liking Kylo Ren probably the most, mask on and off. I really liked the nice touch of the mask wearing being a thing of inner confliction, not just Vader refurbishing fan service. Thing is, Kylo Ren is almost the one character I can relate to, because of said confliction and flaws (unlike good and unwavering Rey). I kid you not, I went home after the movie thinking how will Kylo Ren evolve and improve, not how Rey or anyone else will.
  
  The use of Phasma was deplorable and detrimental to the movie's idea of building a strong female character in Rey, but keeping a bucket on and giving only two lines to the female character on the antagonistic side.
  
  I did not give two shits on General Hickup and Snoke.
  
  BB8 was an excellent loveable character, Chewie comeback was also good, I didn't mind 3CPO and R2D2 cameos, but neither cared a lot.

Cinematography and effects were great, just as Epig referenced, but I think you can already tell I do not judge a movie based on such competencies alone.

Finally, what I didn't get any sense of with TFA is where it can head, with Episodes VIII and IX, other than Rey's and Kylo Ren's trainings. The rest, being so much ANH-redux, felt resolved, in a way, within the movie itself, at least on short term. Long term? The neverending conflict between the good and bad forces? Yawn. Fourth Death Star incoming, I assume... The future directing names don't sound any more promising than JJ, tbh (makers of Looper and Jurassic World, respectively...? yeah not much hype there), and I think the damage is already done by TFA with the "let's stick to the old" paradigm.

Based on current excitement level and very competent refreshening , I'd say 7, but this will definitely go down to a 6 or even a 5 with time, for me personally. Originality, motherf**ker, do you speak it at all?

I'm pretty sure Rey will be revealed either as Luke's daughter or perhaps his most talented youngling, back at the academy of whatevs, for which reason Luke left her on Jakku to protect her "until the time is right", just like Anakin protected his children.

Also, Lando was a sperm donor and Finn got conceived this way. #episodeVIIIwritingitselfwhoa

The acting / characters / plot will be ech, except for maybe big boys like Mendelssohn and Madsy.
It will be too quippy (yes, I mean that robot that already makes me grimace from the movie clips alone).
It will have a pre-SW visual great vibe to it, but still go into bombastic war overdrive.
I will hate every bit of Whitaker.
Darth Vader will have no more than 5 minutes, 4 appearances and 30 words in the whole movie.
A death star will blow up, only to reveal another death star in the background.
I will eat nachos and maybe get back in touch with mah best friend to go see this.

So, yeah, overall, nope.

ALTHOUGH I will give you my honest raw impressions, during the viewing - I don't consider myself an intelligent or careful watcher on the spot, I process it later and/or get inspired by reading other reviews; not ashamed to admit it.

Acts 1 and 2 - zzzzz
Act 3 - whoa

That being said, the hardest thing is that I cannot argue what could have made it better. It seems stuck in its action-packed mission fantasy design. And it sends a signal, I think, that we should resign to the thought that we will not get standalone blockbusters, whether it's capemovies or space operas, that have engaging development, strong characters and narrative or great villains (although, in R1's case, I hardly think is the biggest fault; it was a known fact that everyone in the Empire is a hammy one-tone grandomaniac, save for the one compelling character without an actual visible expression, since he is behind a mask and a cloak).

It's just not going to happen. The franchise stakes are too high, the managerial tight grip and reshoot flubs keep happening time and again, the fan plate stuffing requirement is too demented... these things cannot breathe under the weight of their scale! Zebra is right, there is nothing really to look forward too, in terms of course-correcting this dispiriting vibe. R1 was the shot; it wasn't going to be disconnected from the lore, sure, but it could have been standalone enough on its own terms. The next anthology movies will be Han Solo, Boba Fett, Yoda, the Stormtrooper at the 1:45 mark in Episode II, Dexter Jexster, god knows what else. They'll be complete filler by sheer design! The only thing that comes to mind is Episode VIII, but only because of the likely impetus to reach for the mid-of-the-trilogy, ESB summit.

So while I think this is a Star Wars movie with a decent gritty tone, for a change, and with a climax action sequence that's worth it - which is surprising, because even here, in retrospect, we're basically served the same 40-minute long, everything blows up, kaboom stuff we've received from dozens of blockbusters in the past, ad nauseam; yet it kinda has an actual purpose and coreography - the rest comes up way too flat. And it's a shame. I'll probably go 5 out of 10 with this one, just like with TFA. I can't even debate right now if it's better than TFA. I mean, the sheer amount of nostalgic copypasta in that movie was ridiculous, but it still made me interested enough in characters like Kylo Ren, Poe or, to some extent, Rey, which is a chapter that closes real fast with R1.

Side note: This and Doctor Strange pretty much end it for me ever paying attention to the trailers any longer. It's patented bullsuit. I mean, the teaser trailer for R1 is a work of art compared to the movie.

Now, on to more specific points:

1. I can't believe how much reshoots keep plaguing this big-cashing side of the industry. I mean, what kind of bullshit freemasonry is going on there, that all across the big firms - Disney, DC, Marvel - the same thing gets imposed, again and again? For instance, despite my prediction coming true, I don't think I can truly hate Whitaker, because I find that the reshoots have made him look worse. As a blogger I read said, his acting looks stoned and pissy at getting a call to come back and redo everything.

2. I am fairly convinced that this movie's need to be a tie in with the precise beginning of ANH is what dynamites the entire story.
It limits so much the consequence of R1's narrative to the urgency and immediacy of the Death Plans getting not in rebel hands, generally speaking, but to Leia. Anything else would have either been a far stealthier rogue infiltration experience (probably better than this?) or a rewrite of the whole original SW narrative into the last 20 minutes of ANH [rebels get plans, ergo they can go destroy the sphere] (which is wtf). So, again, I'm not sure what fixing or alternative this could have used, but it feels strangled by its vain and nerdy idea of "let's make R1 segue right into ANH".

I rewatched the first two trailers (teaser and #1) [in which, btw, 90% of the scenes do no longer exist in the movie]. Mon Mothma to Jyn: 'We've a mission for you. A major weapon test is imminent and we need to know what it is and how to destroy it.' *throws hands in the air* How is this not the movie?! Where did Galen Erso appear from, afterwards, and how the mission change to 'Please lead us to your father (so we can secretly murder him [although that wouldn't change a thing, since the Death Star is bloody complete??????)'?! The last two minutes of this movie are depressing. What the hell was Leia doing amid that Rebel offensive? Either she was exposed to dying there and basically nothing happening further on, which is illogical, or (hint: true answer) she was hamfisted for the R1 - ANH tie in, but in a way that she is hardly relevant until she appears, which is unlikely given the narrative of the original movies.

3. The big action scene has a lot of "we need to reach A and connect to B and C and D in order to miraculously pull the whole thing off", but two reasons I am not really displeased with this is because: A) the actions scenes were never the big thing in Star War movies and R1 somehow pulls a better sequence than most, if not all of them; B) the actions scenes in the other SW movies were just as plagued by the same thing: ANH was a lot of pew pew pew to achieve one goal (blowing up the Death Star); TPM was a lot of pew pew pew to achieve one goal (blowing up a Federation Ship); RotJ had the same connect-the-dots thing, as far as I remember, AND a lot of pew pew pew to achieve on goal (blow up the new Death Star); the other prequels were total clusterfucks of pointless pew pew pew. So yeah, not going to roll my eyes at an actual purposeful, if still bloated, action scene.

4. The jump between planets and scenes and people and everything, during the first 10 minutes, gave me a headache. It was literally like watching the beginning of Suicide Squad all over again. I know such transitions are not unusual for SW movies, but it was, too, boring, and, jumpeeee!!!!

5. Is this a fan film? No question about it.

6. I'll admit I dropped into the uncanny valley for a while, but only until my brain jumped in with question of how can aging or makeup possibly work this way. (Had no idea the actor was deceased). I regard this CGI gimmick as a syndrome, perhaps singular to this franchise, of not wanting to tamper or remove a hairline from the saga's symbols. Surely there were stunt actors for absolutely everyone involved in action scenes, right? And yet they couldn't find a suitable lookalike Tarkin?! Who the f in the world would care about Tarkin looking like in 1977, serious question! And changing Leia for, like, the 20 seconds she's in the movie, for sheer R1 ---------> ANH purposes, would be a sacriledge, I assume? So yeah, what pisses me off here is how much self-importance the producers and writers (and, if they applaud it, the fans as well) must give to their precious lore and iconography.

6b. On the same subject, but with the variation of "omg, only James Earl Jones could possibly voice Darth Vader", please tell me I wasn't the only one who thought his voice was completely OFF in this movie. Like, almost as if he had forgotten half of the inflexions necessary to sound like Vader. Also, the front of the suit was awkwardly wobbling, I nearly chuckled (which, if you'd know me, is basically laughing out loud).

7. I also feel that, like Whitaker, the Chinese Guy with Stick's lines were reduced (or changed) to his worst ones. That being said, his "walk" moment was a thing of majesty and character pay-off. I'm also pretty ok with the bromance with Chinese Guy with Gun not having been too banter heavy. Too bad they were underused, of course.

8. As predicted, the one with the quips was the robot, but ech, I suppose it wasn't too much for my taste. Although if you are fine with a comic relief droid, while you cannot connect with any of the humans one bit, ... pfft