Episode V: Alderaan, Deraan So Far Away
With the television restored, the journey down the bootleg rabbit hole continued. After the tragic loss of Admiral Ackbar, the remnants of the Rebellion scattered, abandoning Tatooine to the whims of the Empire and the Hutts. Their destination was the planet Alderaan, a peaceful and beautiful planet among the Core Worlds. It was the Rebellion’s thought that the Empire dare not interfere with such a beacon of Galactic Culture. Darth Vader and his subordinates were on their way to prove such notions false beyond measure.
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“This is just getting ridiculous at this point. Alderaan? Really? I’m starting to think DharmaHelper was right, this bootleg is nothing like the original trilogy.” A2thezebra folded his arms over his chest, grumpily tossing popcorn into his open mouth.
“I did my best ok?” Epignosis responded with a tone that indicated this was not the first time he’d muttered those exact words. “It’s not easy to find the original trilogy these days, especially not with my budget.”
Before too much more could be said, Dragon D. Luffy turned to Enrique and patted him on the shoulders.
“Thanks for fixing the TV Enrique. That was really cool of you.” Enrique looked at DDL with a puzzled expression, sipping on his cola.
“I didn’t fix the TV, I thought Bass flipped a breaker or something.” A murmur fell over the gathered party, as yet another mystery befell their once innocent Movie Night. “Come to think of it, has anyone seen Bass since the TV turned back on?”
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In the confusion that followed the Final Battle, Jabba the Hutt had ordered as many of the survivors be swept up and put to work at his Palace. A bold move, but one that yielded a strong crop of new workers to entertain his guests. One such “entertainer” was Dragon D. Luffy. Initially quite reluctant to provide for his new Master, DDL became much more cooperative once he was introduced to his new bunk mate, the lovely Rancor. Jabba watched with much glee from above as DDL was introduced to the massive hulking beast kept chained deep below the Palace.
“Wonkee nah goo woy kaa? Pheau roe!” Jabba’s face jiggled with impatience. Inside the Pit, the Rancor lumbered forward with a mighty roar, with eased some of the Hutt’s worries. DDL, practically drowning in his own sweat, suddenly snapped into action as he sought cover from the ferocious beast. He dove carefully behind a sturdy looking set of rocks, sending jeers throughout the spectating crowd.
“Hee toeiase koupihoziua! Nobata uahloba!” Jabba smacked his bulbous arm into his pet Salacious Crumb, sending the screeching creature flying off.
“Chateua! Chateua! Chateua!” Jabba began, and the chant was picked up by every onlooker. Fueled by its master’s command, the rancor swung its claws down onto the collection of stones, destroying the cover held by DDL, and crushing the poor man in the process. This pleased Jabba greatly.
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“Well that’s lame!” DDL said, obviously disappointed in the fate of his actor. “But since I really don’t have anyone to root for anymore, I guess I’ll go look for Bass.”
And with that, DDL set off to go check on Bass_The_Clever, who had still not returned from his mission to restore the power to the TV. He followed a narrow hallway down to where the circuit breaker for the building was supposed to be, his steps echoing in the growing darkness around him. As he neared his destination, the soft echoes turned to sharp splashes. Looking down, DDL noticed that the concrete floor beneath him was covered in at least a half inch of water. He tried to remark on just how odd that was, when he realized something even odder. Something seemed to be dripping down onto the pool at the floor directly below him, but he didn’t feel anything wet above him.
DDL gasped as he noticed that the dripping liquid was red as blood. He tried to let out a scream, but found only gurgling escaped his lips. His throat had been quietly slit, and his assassin had escaped back into the shadows. DDL fell defeated into the cold water, directly on top of a crispy Bass.
DDL has been killed by the Hutts
It is now Day 3, the first day on Alderaan
You have 48 Hours to lynch someone
...but I digress) but I don't understand where exactly this came from. And what exactly is my normal civ self, in your opinion?
, he's coming off my new list.
Fiddler on the Roof
