Weird Things That Happened Today

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Weird Things That Happened Today

#1

Post by Mongoose »

Post anything weird or funny or mortifying that happened to you today.

* Today I was watching this dog make. He was either really bad at it, or really good at it. It took forever and he was straining. I was afraid he was going get hemorrhoids. My boss walks by and calls my name. Now, there's no way I could pretend I was doing anything other than watching this dog take a poop. I'm dressed in professional-ass clothes, hair in a chignon, hose, everything. Yet I am watching a dog make.

Gonna figure out how to do some damage control with that one.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#2

Post by A Person »

It would be hard to explain that, but I'm sure many people would've done the same thing. :srsnod:
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#3

Post by Vompatti »

A chignon (/ʃɪnˈjɒn/; French pronunciation: ​[ʃiɲɔ̃]) is a popular type of hairstyle. The word “chignon” comes from the French phrase “chignon du cou,” which means nape of the neck.
When the horse panics or something goes wrong, remain calm and reassure the horse.

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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#4

Post by Mongoose »

Oooh, thanks for that tidbit, Vomp! And thanks for assuring me, Matt :)
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#5

Post by Vompatti »

Two Jehovah's witnesses rang the doorbell today and I'm sure they could hear I was at home because I was listening to Merzbow at a relatively high volume and I turned it down when they rang the doorbell because they rang it several times and when I looked through the little window on the door I could clearly see they were Jehovah's witnesses because they were female and one of them was holding some papers in her hands and for a brief moment I considered letting them in but then I realized it wouldn't have been appropriate because there were two of them and I only had one chair so it would have been impossible to ask them to sit down so I've been slightly sad all day thinking about how disappointed they must have been because I didn't let them in.
:sigh:
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#6

Post by Mongoose »

Vompatti wrote:Two Jehovah's witnesses rang the doorbell today and I'm sure they could hear I was at home because I was listening to Merzbow at a relatively high volume and I turned it down when they rang the doorbell because they rang it several times and when I looked through the little window on the door I could clearly see they were Jehovah's witnesses because they were female and one of them was holding some papers in her hands and for a brief moment I considered letting them in but then I realized it wouldn't have been appropriate because there were two of them and I only had one chair so it would have been impossible to ask them to sit down so I've been slightly sad all day thinking about how disappointed they must have been because I didn't let them in.
:sigh:
You are very sweet. Most people wouldn't think so kindly of door-to-door proselytizers.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#7

Post by Vompatti »

Mongoose wrote:
Vompatti wrote:Two Jehovah's witnesses rang the doorbell today and I'm sure they could hear I was at home because I was listening to Merzbow at a relatively high volume and I turned it down when they rang the doorbell because they rang it several times and when I looked through the little window on the door I could clearly see they were Jehovah's witnesses because they were female and one of them was holding some papers in her hands and for a brief moment I considered letting them in but then I realized it wouldn't have been appropriate because there were two of them and I only had one chair so it would have been impossible to ask them to sit down so I've been slightly sad all day thinking about how disappointed they must have been because I didn't let them in.
:sigh:
You are very sweet. Most people wouldn't think so kindly of door-to-door proselytizers.
I think they came specifically to see me because I accidentally opened the door once and took their brochure because I was waiting for a postman and they have this list where they make a note every time someone opens the door and takes the brochure or talks to them or whatever. But I really hope someone else let them in because it would really suck to walk around all day ringing people's doorbells if no one let you in and made you coffee.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#8

Post by Mongoose »

Yeah that would be really tough. If I see them, I'll try to give them so ice water. How do you like your coffee?
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#9

Post by Vompatti »

Black as midnight on a moonless night.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#10

Post by Mongoose »

I'm the opposite. I like it with a hearty helping of milk (usually unsweetened almond milk), 1/2 packet of Stevia, and preferably served over ice.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#11

Post by A Person »

black pls
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#12

Post by bea »

I love it black. That said, 7 years of 2 pots of coffee a day have done a number on my tummy. I find that if I have more than 2 cups of black coffee now, I get a yucky tummy ache. So, when I'm drinking a lot of coffee I do have to use cream. But only cream. No sugar.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#13

Post by Mongoose »

2 pots a day! I can't even picture that. I drink iced tea all day though so I think I do get it.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#14

Post by bea »

what can I say - it was college. Coffee all day - and most of the night. Then beer.

Wake up - brew more, head to class. break from class? Head to the coffee shop. Hang there till bar thirty.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#15

Post by thellama73 »

This thread is awesome, but most people don't have nearly as many strange things happen to them in the course of the day as Mongoose does. ;)

I love that Vomps listens to Merzbow. I thought I was the only one!

I also like black coffee, and lots of it.

I ran into some Mormons the other day when I was on the way to the park to practice juggling and they gave me a free book of Mormon! I plan on reading it, but haven't yet. I think they were surprised when I told them I had read the entire Bible from cover to cover. I bet they rarely see that.
Epignosis wrote:If llama is good, it means we exist in a universe in which multitasking llama can call out the first of two mafia while simultaneously calling out two civilians.

I don't want to live in that universe.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#16

Post by S~V~S »

I have read the Book or Mormon; let me know when you have read it. I would be interested in you impressions. I was not a fan, lol.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#17

Post by Epignosis »

I also have a (free) copy of the Book of Mormon, but I have not read it all.

"And it came to pass that they were exceedingly fond of the use of the word 'exceedingly.'"
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#18

Post by thellama73 »

I know! I'll start reading it now! It beats the work I am supposed to be doing.
Epignosis wrote:If llama is good, it means we exist in a universe in which multitasking llama can call out the first of two mafia while simultaneously calling out two civilians.

I don't want to live in that universe.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#19

Post by Mongoose »

thellama73 wrote:This thread is awesome, but most people don't have nearly as many strange things happen to them in the course of the day as Mongoose does. ;)

I love that Vomps listens to Merzbow. I thought I was the only one!

I also like black coffee, and lots of it.

I ran into some Mormons the other day when I was on the way to the park to practice juggling and they gave me a free book of Mormon! I plan on reading it, but haven't yet. I think they were surprised when I told them I had read the entire Bible from cover to cover. I bet they rarely see that.
Yeah, I've thought about posting some other weirdness but I don't want everyone thinking I'm a big weirdo so soon!
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#20

Post by A Person »

thellama73 wrote:I love that Vomps listens to Merzbow. I thought I was the only one!
Me and Alan and Kevin and Cam like Merzbow too.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#21

Post by Mongoose »

We have this On Demand Fitness channel here, and days that I dread going into the gym (ugh the music) I will often do on-demand workouts.

Today I decided to branch out and do a Ballet Barre workout. It really works your arms and legs (think pilates meets ballet positions), but it is not for the ungraceful. Let's just say I now have a bruise on the bottom of my chin.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#22

Post by Mongoose »

Well weirdness has against touched my life.

I went to Publix yesterday to pick up a few things. My friend is going through a breakup, and I wanted to pick him up some sort of berry cake.

Our Publix (it's a grocery store, btw) is one that is two levels. The bottom level is the parking garage and then you take an elevator or escalator up to the second floor, which is where the shop is actually located.

When I came into the first level, I saw a dad and this little girl duck into the escalator just before I did. The dad kinda looked at me funny, but I figured he just had Funny Resting Face.

When he and the little girl got off the escalator at the top, he turned around and looked at me again. I didn't think this was too weird, as I figured from his previous look that he was probably just trying to figure out if I was someone he know or if I just resembled that person.

BUT THEN they walk around the corner and the dad SPRINTS over to the elevator and starts smacking the "Down" button. The little girl chases after him and starts going "Daddy, Daddy where are you going?"

I thought this was all so weird. He takes a look at me and sprints off? I don't usually have that effect on people. Coming up the escalator and then going right back down is not that weird inofitself, he might have forgotten his wallet or something like that, and you do tend to think of those things right when you are going in the store door, but this was different.

He SPRINTED toward the elevator (without this little daughter!) like he had seen a ghost or someone he really wanted to avoid.

I can think of a few reasons of why this happened, but none of them are great.

1. He recognizes me from the legal realm and something awkward went down. He wanted to avoid me.

2. He recognizes me from the legal realm and was dressed super down and didn't want me to see him like that.

3. I look like the ghost of someone he knows.

4. I am actually dead and a ghost.

5. It had nothing to do with me and he was sprinting for whatever the heck reason.

It made me feel very uneasy.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#23

Post by thellama73 »

That is crazy weird. I wonder if he was intentionally trying to ditch his daughter, knowing that you would then have to care for her as your own (that's a law in Florida, right?"

Last night, I got a call from a friend to go look at monuments. We saw the Washington Monument and the Jefferson Memorial, and then my friend decides he wants to go to Arlington Cemetery on foot. So we walk into Virginia (possibly the first time I have crossed a state line on foot, although I'm not sure.) This involved walking on a narrow path alongside a busy highway with no lights for a really long time. Eventually, the path disappeared and the only way to proceed was to cross the highway (which had no crosswalk or lights or anything.) So we sprint across in the dark and hope we don't get hit and eventually make it. It was a somewhat harrowing experience, and we took the metro back.

On the National Mall they were having Screen on the Green and I kind of wish I had stayed to watch the movie. They were playing awesome music before hand including Hurricane by Bob Dylan and In A Gadda Da Vida by Iron Butterfly (the full 17 minute version.)
Epignosis wrote:If llama is good, it means we exist in a universe in which multitasking llama can call out the first of two mafia while simultaneously calling out two civilians.

I don't want to live in that universe.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#24

Post by Mongoose »

thellama73 wrote:That is crazy weird. I wonder if he was intentionally trying to ditch his daughter, knowing that you would then have to care for her as your own (that's a law in Florida, right?)

Probably! Also, I'm glad you did not become roadkill! No one likes a flattened llama.

What did you think of the monuments?
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#25

Post by thellama73 »

The Washington Monument has been in renovations since the earthquake and you can't really get near it, so that sucks. The Jefferson Memorial is very well done. It's right on the river and surrounded by cherry trees, so it is very pretty.
Epignosis wrote:If llama is good, it means we exist in a universe in which multitasking llama can call out the first of two mafia while simultaneously calling out two civilians.

I don't want to live in that universe.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#26

Post by Mongoose »

thellama73 wrote:The Washington Monument has been in renovations since the earthquake and you can't really get near it, so that sucks. The Jefferson Memorial is very well done. It's right on the river and surrounded by cherry trees, so it is very pretty.
Is the vandalism all washed away from Lincoln?
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#27

Post by thellama73 »

Mongoose wrote:
thellama73 wrote:The Washington Monument has been in renovations since the earthquake and you can't really get near it, so that sucks. The Jefferson Memorial is very well done. It's right on the river and surrounded by cherry trees, so it is very pretty.
Is the vandalism all washed away from Lincoln?
I don't visit that one.
Epignosis wrote:If llama is good, it means we exist in a universe in which multitasking llama can call out the first of two mafia while simultaneously calling out two civilians.

I don't want to live in that universe.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#28

Post by insertnamehere »

Vompatti wrote:Black as midnight on a moonless night.
Damn fine.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#29

Post by bea »

I'm voting "goosey is a ghost" It's the most interesting of the options tbh.

plus I refuse to believe any of you are not figments of my imagination till I can see you in person. Even then I will likely have my doubts.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#30

Post by S~V~S »

*Is Not A Figment* :fiesta:
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#31

Post by bea »

S~V~S wrote:*Is Not A Figment* :fiesta:
No you are mot definitely Not a Figment. I couldn't have dreamed up that much awesomeness if I tried.... :srsnod: :D


(srrsly you guys - kate will back me up here. She is such a treat. Even more wonderful and completely full of energy and great vibes in person. It's hard to believe such a firecracker exists and then there she is!)
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#32

Post by Mongoose »

bea wrote:I'm voting "goosey is a ghost" It's the most interesting of the options tbh.

plus I refuse to believe any of you are not figments of my imagination till I can see you in person. Even then I will likely have my doubts.
I'm a scary, scary ghost! Haunting you when you're sleeping! Standing by your bed and vaguely rocking back and forth for hours and hours while you sleep! Crawling under your bed and tap tap tapping on the bed undercarriage while you wonder what pale spectre child is underneath there looking for his lost mam!
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#33

Post by bea »

Mongoose wrote:
bea wrote:I'm voting "goosey is a ghost" It's the most interesting of the options tbh.

plus I refuse to believe any of you are not figments of my imagination till I can see you in person. Even then I will likely have my doubts.
I'm a scary, scary ghost! Haunting you when you're sleeping! Standing by your bed and vaguely rocking back and forth for hours and hours while you sleep! Crawling under your bed and tap tap tapping on the bed undercarriage while you wonder what pale spectre child is underneath there looking for his lost mam!
That's a shame, because I kinda pictured you as the pleasant sort of ghost who would offer me a nice cup of tea and a good vegetarian dinner. Kinda like a female version of the Ghost from "The Ghost and Mrs. Muier." :sigh:
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#34

Post by Mongoose »

bea wrote:
Mongoose wrote:
bea wrote:I'm voting "goosey is a ghost" It's the most interesting of the options tbh.

plus I refuse to believe any of you are not figments of my imagination till I can see you in person. Even then I will likely have my doubts.
I'm a scary, scary ghost! Haunting you when you're sleeping! Standing by your bed and vaguely rocking back and forth for hours and hours while you sleep! Crawling under your bed and tap tap tapping on the bed undercarriage while you wonder what pale spectre child is underneath there looking for his lost mam!
That's a shame, because I kinda pictured you as the pleasant sort of ghost who would offer me a nice cup of tea and a good vegetarian dinner. Kinda like a female version of the Ghost from "The Ghost and Mrs. Muier." :sigh:
Oh no, you're right there. My bad.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#35

Post by bea »

Yay!! I would have the most rad house ever if you were my ghost and zanydex were my nurse. Srrsly - I'd have to be independently wealthy because I'd never leave home! :D
I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.... :wine:
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#36

Post by nutella »

I got the second drunkest ive'v ever been the most was two weks ago
to the spoiler go the victories:
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#37

Post by Mongoose »

nutella wrote:I got the second drunkest ive'v ever been the most was two weks ago
How did that work out for you?
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#38

Post by nutella »

It's fun so far I've just had quite fun experiences I get very silly
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#39

Post by Mongoose »

Me too. No harm in that!
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#40

Post by A Person »

i don't get silly :(
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#41

Post by Mongoose »

A Person wrote:i don't get silly :(
What happens to you, Matt?
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#42

Post by A Person »

Mongoose wrote:
A Person wrote:i don't get silly :(
What happens to you, Matt?
I act the same, which means i just stand around silently, my shyness is infinite.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#43

Post by Mongoose »

Awww. Some of the shyest people are the most interesting. I think it's quite the folly for people to overlook getting to know wallflowers; they are quite intriguing!
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#44

Post by Mongoose »

About a month ago, I was leaving work at my second job (a library where I'm the only employee). The library is a windowless room in the second floor of that campus. The security guard was on his rounds when I left, so I didn't see him.

When I walked out the door, I did not have my wits about me as I like to do when I'm alone in a parking lot. I was irritated about my friend's new girlfriend trying to pick a fight with me (I am obnoxiously hard to pick a fight with) and was composing my non-rebuttal to her in my head.

I looked up and saw this man about 40 yards from me. It was 90-something degrees still even thought it was 7pm. He was wearing a dark hooded cloak. The hood was triangular. He looked like something out of Silent Hill (Pyramid Head) or Japanese slasher films.

He was walking toward me. His hooded cloak was long and covered all his arms and went down probably to his knees. It covered so much of his body that I couldn't even tell what hue his skin was.

Something about him made me uneasy, so I started veering off to my car in a hurry. There were several cars still in the staff lot and there was no reason to assume he knew which one was mine. Once I veered toward my car, he also altered his direction to match.

As you can imagine, this really freaked me out. I thought about running back inside, but instead of my usual sensible, utilitarian shoes, I was wearing heeled boots.

I decided my best course of action was to feint to a car further away from mine. I did and he again adjusted his path. He's getting pretty close to the car now and I was intensely worried that he was going to beat me to it. I quickly feinted back and used my clicker to unlock my car door. I slid into the passenger side (which was closer) and locked the doors.

He passes my car and when he is in front of it he turns around to face me and does this eerie slow wave. I mean ridiculously slow wave. I still could not see his face.

You might be asking me why I am saying it's a guy, and I'm not sure but I am just guessing it was due to the body shape sorta and also the way he walked.

I started self-doubting myself a bit and wondering if I was making this into something it wasn't. I told my husband about it, and he came with me to work the next night so he could walk me out to my car. When we first got to the library that night, I relayed the story to the security guard and he said he would try to pull up the footage on the CCTV.

The shift passed quickly and it was timed for the Mongoose and Greyhound to head home. We stopped by the security desk and he confirmed he found the footage. I hadn;t imagined it at all.

We watched Pyramid Head alter his trajectory to cut me off and then turn around a wave at me. Super scary.

The security guards have been giving me an escort outside now. It's eerie.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#45

Post by A Person »

:eek: I'd start carrying something that I could use as a weapon.
Mongoose wrote:Awww. Some of the shyest people are the most interesting. I think it's quite the folly for people to overlook getting to know wallflowers; they are quite intriguing!
ture, but some of us have practiced a lot to avoid attention and deflect all interest so that people leave us alone, i probably do that too much for people to find out much about me.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#46

Post by Mongoose »

A Person wrote::eek: I'd start carrying something that I could use as a weapon.
Mongoose wrote:Awww. Some of the shyest people are the most interesting. I think it's quite the folly for people to overlook getting to know wallflowers; they are quite intriguing!
ture, but some of us have practiced a lot to avoid attention and deflect all interest so that people leave us alone, i probably do that too much for people to find out much about me.
What is:

* Your Favorite Color?

* Your Favorite Animal?

* Your Favorite Food?

* Your Opinion on Pizza?

* Your Favorite Book?
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#47

Post by A Person »

Mongoose wrote: What is:

* Your Favorite Color?

* Your Favorite Animal?

* Your Favorite Food?

* Your Opinion on Pizza?

* Your Favorite Book?
If i had to pick a single color it would be black

I guess my favorite animals are dogs

To answer two questions at once, pizza may be my favorite food, I'm sure there are others I like more, but I could probably eat pizza once a day and never get tired of it.

Favorite book is hard, I've not read nearly enough to have a favorite. I like different books for different reasons, and I can't decide which reasons are better than other ones. Years ago it probably would've been LotR.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#48

Post by Mongoose »

A Person wrote:
Mongoose wrote: What is:

* Your Favorite Color?

* Your Favorite Animal?

* Your Favorite Food?

* Your Opinion on Pizza?

* Your Favorite Book?
If i had to pick a single color it would be black

I guess my favorite animals are dogs

To answer two questions at once, pizza may be my favorite food, I'm sure there are others I like more, but I could probably eat pizza once a day and never get tired of it.

Favorite book is hard, I've not read nearly enough to have a favorite. I like different books for different reasons, and I can't decide which reasons are better than other ones. Years ago it probably would've been LotR.

Yay, now I know a lot more about you! Are there like 3 more things about yourself that you think I/everyone should know?
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#49

Post by thellama73 »

Mongoose wrote: What is:

* Your Favorite Color?
Red.
* Your Favorite Animal?
The Fox. I bet you were expecting a llama, weren't you?
* Your Favorite Food?
That monstrosity of unhealthiness, the Monte Cristo Sandwich, all but extinct in our modern nutrition-centric world.
* Your Opinion on Pizza?
Awesome, but especially with anchovies, which are objectively the best topping.
* Your Favorite Book?
Anything by Victor Hugo. If I had to pick one, probably the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but they are all amazing.
Epignosis wrote:If llama is good, it means we exist in a universe in which multitasking llama can call out the first of two mafia while simultaneously calling out two civilians.

I don't want to live in that universe.
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Re: Weird Things That Happened Today

#50

Post by A Person »

^I wanted to choose the whole canine family for the animal question but it seemed like cheating.
Mongoose wrote:Yay, now I know a lot more about you! Are there like 3 more things about yourself that you think I/everyone should know?
I'll probably have to answer that tomorrow because I'm far too tired to think of that tonight. (me being tired isn't one of those 3 things.
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