The Syndicate

Leslie Knope wrote:

Andy Dwyer wrote:THEORY TIME

leslie has been kidnapped and this is evil imposter leslie who says a lot of words but id ont' think they mean much.

I see what you're trying to pull here, Andy. Other than a couple of very unsubtle hints that you've dropped about being the town cop, all you've really managed to say is that I've said nothing. Your eagerness to attempt to form a bandwagon against me is unsettling, and I don't believe you're the town cop. You couldn't even pass the test. I'm withholding my vote for now, but you're making a strong argument against yourself.

Leslie Knope wrote:I think we need to seriously debate the merits of not lynching anyone today. If we kill someone now and they turn out to be good, then those monsters who killed Lil Sebastian will kill again and we'll be down two good guys. Yes, there's a chance we can get one of the people responsible, but it's only a 1/5 possibility.

Leslie Knope wrote:I think we need to seriously debate the merits of not lynching anyone today. If we kill someone now and they turn out to be good, then those monsters who killed Lil Sebastian will kill again and we'll be down two good guys. Yes, there's a chance we can get one of the people responsible, but it's only a 1/5 possibility.

Ron Swanson wrote:

Leslie Knope wrote:I think we need to seriously debate the merits of not lynching anyone today. If we kill someone now and they turn out to be good, then those monsters who killed Lil Sebastian will kill again and we'll be down two good guys. Yes, there's a chance we can get one of the people responsible, but it's only a 1/5 possibility.

Better odds than any woman named Tammy not being a satanic harpie. Which is zero.

I find it slightly unsettling that "let's work it out" has to come from my mouth and not yours, Knope.

Ron Swanson wrote:Attention people who make video only posts, while I'm on the phone.

Stop.

Leslie Knope wrote:

Ben Wyatt wrote:Exactly. I crunched the numbers,

Looked at a chart that was provided to you.

No, I looked at a chart that was provided to me and made assumptions BASED on that chart. That's, like, 90% of my job.

Ben Wyatt wrote: Fakeclaiming the Miller could be the perfect crime, like stabbing someone with an ice shard.

You destroyed an entire town and resigned in disgrace, so you're not really the person I'd go to with advice on the "perfect" crime.

Wow, straight for the jugular. That's how this is gonna go? Look, I was eighteen. We all do stupid stuff when we're 18, alright? Some people get pregnant or a face tattoo, I got elected mayor and bankrupted an entire town by pouring money into an ice rink complex that would have TOTALLY made a profit if the construction company didn't screw us over.

Ben Wyatt wrote:All of this talk of game roles and rule setups reminds me of my own personal masterpiece, The Cones of Dunshire. Anyone up for a quick game? And by quick, I mean a minimum of 4 hours of playtime.

Nobody cares about your Star Wars game, honey.

Come on Leslie, it's a satirical high fantasy game, not a science fiction space opera. A better comparison would be Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. You just did the "nerd culture" (even though I despise that term) equivalent of saying Benjamin Franklin was your favorite president.

Andy Dwyer wrote:

Ron Swanson wrote:Attention people who make video only posts, while I'm on the phone.

Stop.

RON SWANSON WOULD NEVE RUSE A PHOENE!!

Ben Wyatt wrote:No, I looked at a chart that was provided to me and made assumptions BASED on that chart. That's, like, 90% of my job.

Ben Wyatt wrote: Wow, straight for the jugular. That's how this is gonna go? Look, I was eighteen. We all do stupid stuff when we're 18, alright? Some people get pregnant or a face tattoo, I got elected mayor and bankrupted an entire town by pouring money into an ice rink complex that would have TOTALLY made a profit if the construction company didn't screw us over.

Andy Dwyer wrote:

Ron Swanson wrote:Attention people who make video only posts, while I'm on the phone.

Stop.

RON SWANSON WOULD NEVE RUSE A PHOENE!!

Ron Swanson wrote:

Andy Dwyer wrote:

Ron Swanson wrote:Attention people who make video only posts, while I'm on the phone.

Stop.

RON SWANSON WOULD NEVE RUSE A PHOENE!!

Andrew, I'm a libertarian, not a hobo idiot. I may use whatever I damn please.

How are we doing on composing a song for Li'l Sebastian? Besides your offthewall theory on Leslie, you struck me as all over the place. What else you got?

Chris Traeger wrote:Hi everyone! I just got back from my beat the sun run. I lost because I was having so much fun, I ran ten miles instead of five. It is such a beautiful morning, isn't it?

You know Ron, I agree with your assessment of the grieving period. While each person should be allowed to go through the process at their own pace, we still need to figure out who's behind the death of that poor pony. We could try an exercise! I love group activities! Maybe we can all say who we find most suspicious at the moment!

I'll go first. I think that my lovely Ann Perkins suggesting we should lynch April just to confirm the set up we are in seems a little unsavory. She is beautiful and will be a wonderful mother for our baby, but she might also be evil. Isn't this game invigorating!

April Ludgate wrote:

Ben Wyatt wrote:Well, now you know that we know that your role claim could easily be faked, you know? The possibility of you being a despicable liar face shouldn't be ignored. It's like in Game of Thrones, when Littlefinger tells Ned Stark that "Distrusting me was the wisest thing you've done since you climbed off your horse."

Don't you have some Star Trek fan fiction to be writing or something?

Bill's response to my claim was weird. He acted like I should be able to support my claim other than just saying it. I wonder how his intestines taste.

Ron Swanson wrote:Works just fine to this day. Now what did I say about videos!!

Not much of a question answerer, son?

Andy Dwyer wrote:April's my wife. What do you want me to say?

Andy Dwyer wrote:and i'm not sure how i feel about chris yet. Sometimes he talks the coolests sentences though

Ron Swanson wrote:Chris will prove a tough challenge, if he's rotten, because he's deeper into his roleplay than I can reach inside my cattle during an anal probing.

Ann Perkins wrote:Funny how the person who would be willing (and has the know how) to murder a horse, defends the girl who would be willing to murder a horse's claim whose lynch would provide us with invaluable information - 50% chance of which setup we are in. Why would we be inviting town powers to reveal to counter claim, when absolutely no protective exists.

Chris Traeger wrote:Silly me, I almost forgot about Bill! He seems to be very preoccupied with you. Which could very much be an attempt to avoid discussion that might stray onto himself or a fellow evil teammate, if it is intentional. It would be nice to hear what he thinks of people other than the fresh breath of air that is April Ludgate. Otherwise I am inclined to put him on a list of suspects. Did that answer your question?

Chris Traeger wrote:

Andy Dwyer wrote:and i'm not sure how i feel about chris yet. Sometimes he talks the coolests sentences though

Andy! That is literally the kindest thing you've ever said about me. I really like you too! but I also feel like you are a little bit all over the place. Might I suggest you cut back on processed sugars?

Ron Swanson wrote:Chris will prove a tough challenge, if he's rotten, because he's deeper into his roleplay than I can reach inside my cattle during an anal probing.

I am simultaneously flattered and disgusted. You always keep me on my toes Ron Swanson! Also, I was processing the paperwork for your new position and discovered that you've never been through the Chris Traeger Management Training Seminar yet! I'm so excited for you! You are going to be CTMTSed!

Ann Perkins! I still am really not getting what you were saying in the following post, can you please reword it? I really want to understand your thought processes inside and out since we are spending the rest of our lives together. Also, I love you.

Ann Perkins wrote:Funny how the person who would be willing (and has the know how) to murder a horse, defends the girl who would be willing to murder a horse's claim whose lynch would provide us with invaluable information - 50% chance of which setup we are in. Why would we be inviting town powers to reveal to counter claim, when absolutely no protective exists.

Is there anyone who has not come to work yet today? Or has everyone already clocked in? It's very important to me to stay connected with all the staff member that I oversee.

Leslie, I appreciate your initiative in putting forward the idea of the no lynch option. But I have to disagree. If we don't lynch someone, we simply turn our Day 1 situation into Day 2. And we have let the mafia have a kill without any effort whatsoever to catch one of them. I have to admit that I find you a little suspicious, but keep that energy flowing, I'm loving it!

Bobby Newport! You don't say very much do you? Are you the strong silent type? Or are you hiding some evil schemes for Pawnee?

Ron Swanson wrote:I'm bored and going home, so here are my thoughts till tomorrow.

April's claim still requires a counter, either via night power results that could prove contradictory to the miller setups or via counterclaims from others. I'm inclined to trust her until it bounces, she's proven herself to be a clever girl in the past. Also, while not clear if mafia have contact during the Day (Host?), let's assume they don't, in which case a fake claim from April should mean: a) she's aware of the possible setup and it means she's either the JOAT or the Godfather, the latter which can be easily debunked if the cop checks her and survives; b) she's unaware of the setup and a goon, in which case her bluff is even more blind and foolish. Balls to the walls tactic aside, does this sound like sane mafia gambit to any of you?

Ben seems to be his usual dumbass self, but I cannot say I disliked his prodding initiatives, so far. This concludes my slight townreads for this phase.

I don't like Bill. He used hokey logic to argue that only the mafia would have serious knowledge of the current setup. His contribution to the claim game in regards to April has been utterly banal.

Ann is annoying, what's new. She has pounced on people like April, but was then peachy with other statements, like Bill's. She also called me knowledgeable in killing horses, which is just disgusting.

Knope is underwhelming thus far in solid hunting initiatives.

Andrew has a bold idea on the table, which I'm not sure how I feel about just yet, still I feel the rest of his game so far is sprawling underneath the act. Man up, son.

Chris will prove a tough challenge, if he's rotten, because he's deeper into his roleplay than I can reach inside my cattle during an anal probing.

Jean-Ralphio still proves as useless as the hyphen between his first names. Or the French themselves throught history.

Jerry still didn't show up. If nothing works, let's just lynch Jerry.

If your name doesn't show up above, you've either done nothing to annoy me or nothing to impress me.

Good night and good luck.

Andy Dwyer wrote:Ann, I'm like super bad at math, but like I think Ron only has 24 posts.

Andy Dwyer wrote:Ann, I'm like super bad at math, but like I think Ron only has 24 posts.

Ron Swanson wrote:I've read more graceful OMGUSs in my life, but I guess you can't expect much from someone who works in healthcare, where they'll just rip you off for so much as a sneeze.

Ron Swanson wrote:Also, while not clear if mafia have contact during the Day (Host?)