The Syndicate

thellama73 wrote:Why don't you like turnips?
What is your favorite root vegetable?
What's your starsign?

I don't know.
Yams.
Scorpio.

thellama73 wrote:Rank the following statements in order of most plausible to least plausible:
- Martial arts are an effective form of self-defense
- Chiropractic is a legitimate branch of medicine
- Nutritionists know what the hell they are talking about
- We're all going to perish due to catastrophic anthropogenic climate change sometime in the indeterminate future. But soon. Definitely soon.
- We can all be made richer by simply printing and distributing little slips of paper with numbers written on them.

insertnamehere wrote:What do you feel is a better format for storytelling, television or movies?

Depends on the story really. Episodic storytelling has so much potential. A single strong theme can be better realized in a film though, I think.

FZ. wrote:What was your favorite subject in school?
Why do you like mafia, and do you prefer the live version or the online one?
Would you say you're a funny guy? Sarcastic? nerdy? Smart? Sensitive?
name something you think is overrated and something that is underestimated
If you had the chance to be born in a different time in history, which would you choose and why?

Biology.
I think I like mafia because it allows me to argue about things that don't matter lol. I love the competition and the challenge of playing a smart game. Also it gives me something to do while I'm on the train on my way to work. The live version is always fun and lighthearted, the online version can be cutthroat and analytical so I like both for different reasons. It's also more fun to throw your teammates under the bus in a live game
I am all those things at different times... If I had to choose an adjective to describe myself, I'd say I'm perceptive. My sense of humor is very sarcastic, and observational.
In N Out Burger is overrated. Common sense is underrated.
Man, that's a tough one, lots of different time periods were awesome in their own ways but I'm so accustomed to life as it is now. Maybe medieval times for the simple but delicious food, and horses would be a cool way to travel. Or maybe the fifties, so I could grow up in the hippie era

Roxy wrote:Dammit! I missed bea, Timmer and llama This is not good!

Turnips - hi

which band is over rated and over played?
Who is your fave Avenger? Superhero?
If Batman and Spiderman had a battle who would win and why?
You are in Westeros - which castle do live in and defend? What would be your name and profession?
Favorite Beatle? Favorite Beatles song?
Why Turnips but not Parsnips? Are you against all other root vegees?

Hey roxy!
Mumford and Sons: it's like somebody took a teenage girl's diary and set it to formulaic folk music.
Don't know much about the avengers except for the movies, but I like Thor. Favorite superhero would probably be Wolverine.
Batman, because he's batman. This would be a very entertaining fight.
I defend Turnipy Rock and I grow eggplants.
George. Don't Let Me Down.
Parsnip Head just doesn't have the same ring to it.

:O I missed Llama.

TH, I'll have to think of some decent cvestions, but for now I'd just like to say that if we ever have the chance, it would be my pleasure to get high with you.

TH:
What do you think of Hugh Jackman as the Wolverine?
Favorite type of cheese?
If you were on a pirate ship, what would be your role?
Do you have any pets?
Where would you pick to live if it could be anywhere other than you live now?
Did you like playing Muppet Mafia two years ago?
Who is your biggest mafia nemesis?
Who have you not had btsc with but have always wanted to?
What is the most embarrassing album in your music library?

Lizzy wrote::O I missed Llama.

I missed you too, Lizzy.

Yes please, Lizzy that would be epic. I hope it happens

fingersplints wrote:TH:
What do you think of Hugh Jackman as the Wolverine?
Favorite type of cheese?
If you were on a pirate ship, what would be your role?
Do you have any pets?
Where would you pick to live if it could be anywhere other than you live now?
Did you like playing Muppet Mafia two years ago?
Who is your biggest mafia nemesis?
Who have you not had btsc with but have always wanted to?
What is the most embarrassing album in your music library?

• I like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, although I didn't see the most recent one, because Origins was so disappointing.
• Monterey Jack
• The boatswain. I'd be able to boss the other pirates around, and I'd be less likely to be mutinied against than the captain.
• Not currently. I used to have a bunny named Butters but he died last year
• I would love to live in a small rural town. I'd adjust easily to country livin I think.
• Yes I enjoyed that game very much!! One of the craziest endings of any mafia game I can remember. You and Lorab should host a sequel
• It used to be Diamond Dog, who is IMO the best to have ever played the game but he's not around anymore. It may be a one-sided rivalry, but I consider SVS to be my arch nemesis, hehehe.
• I would love to have BTSC with SVS, Epignosis, or bea. Also, I've only had BTSC with Lorab once, in my very first mafia game ever, so methinks we're due for a reunion.
• Katy Perry's Teenage Dream.

do you like oOoOO

A Person wrote:do you like oOoOO

I've never heard of him before but I just googled and it might be something I'd listen to... Ill check it out on Spotify :O

Lizzy wrote::O I missed Llama.

TH, I'll have to think of some decent cvestions, but for now I'd just like to say that if we ever have the chance, it would be my pleasure to get high with you.

I would like to second this feel.

juliets wrote:

Turnip Head wrote:Hi bea!!!!
12) I hosted a mafia game a few years ago on The Piano with my buddies aapje, sanderling and Sparrow. I would love to host again. I have lots of ideas.

aapje is your buddy? He is my buddy too! And bea's! I think that means we're all related.

1. TH, I saw you mention mafia is a lot different today than when you played it before. Can you explain what those differences are?

I'll quit asking you things, I promise.

Are aapje and I still friends? Could you ask him for me TH? We kinda had this thing Monday....apparently we were both Irish....

Wouldn't that be awesome if we were all related somehow? Of course, it means we'd have the Tranq and Typh as like cousin's or something. Would that be awesome or awful?

Not a question: But I happen to know for a fact that aapje can be found periodically on the rev mafia IRC channel.

What new ideas do you have for hosting games? Would you like a co-host?

thellama73 wrote:

Lizzy wrote::O I missed Llama.

I missed you too, Lizzy.

bea wrote:

Lizzy wrote::O I missed Llama.

TH, I'll have to think of some decent cvestions, but for now I'd just like to say that if we ever have the chance, it would be my pleasure to get high with you.

I would like to second this feel.

Then it's settled. Bea, baby, you bring the booze, TH - you provide the good stuff, I bring the fancy tea and my camera.

But back to business.
1. Do you feel like an adult yet?
2. What does being an adult mean anyway?
3. Do you believe in multiculturalism?
4. Which one of the following can you handle decently: sports, politics, religion?
5. How are you today?
6. Do you have any recurring dreams?
7. What's the biggest fish you've ever caught?
8. What's the song stuck in your head at the moment?
9. How do you feel about cherry picking?

Turnip Head wrote:

A Person wrote:do you like oOoOO

I've never heard of him before but I just googled and it might be something I'd listen to... Ill check it out on Spotify :O

I just wanted an excuse to type the name
If you really like it I have tons of similar music

Do you like anime? Do you have favorites?
What program do you use to open .pdf files?
If you had to be a breed of dog which one would you be?

bea wrote:What new ideas do you have for hosting games? Would you like a co-host?

Mostly some mechanics ideas. I had been working on a Hobbit themed game but Russti beat me to the punch! Maybe I'll save it for later.

I have a bunch of notes for a South Park mafia and a Star Trek mafia. I also want to host a game based on the Craigslist killer :O everyone would have identities, back stories, and things they want to buy and sell. It would be crazy I also have ideas for more games based on the Funny or Die philosophy.

If I do ever host, I would love to have a cohost. Are you offering??

Lizzy wrote:But back to business.
1. Do you feel like an adult yet?
2. What does being an adult mean anyway?
3. Do you believe in multiculturalism?
4. Which one of the following can you handle decently: sports, politics, religion?
5. How are you today?
6. Do you have any recurring dreams?
7. What's the biggest fish you've ever caught?
8. What's the song stuck in your head at the moment?
9. How do you feel about cherry picking?

1. God, no.
2. I think being an adult means you're capable of caring and providing for someone(s) other than yourself, i.e. starting a family. I am nowhere near ready for that... Theres still a ton of mistakes I plan on making before then
3. Absolutely!
4. Well I love sports and could talk about them all day. Except for soccer, which I don't enjoy watching and hate hearing about, but it's the one sport I'm any good at actually playing. I wish I was better informed about politics but I have lots of opinions/ideas, none of which I enjoy talking or arguing about. My thoughts on religion change all the time and I'm not comfortable discussing religion with most people.
5. I'm in a good mood today! Although I'm hungry and don't know what I feel like eating.
6. I have a recurring nightmare that one or more of my teeth fall out. It's like my biggest fear my dreams tend to be pretty wonky though.
7. I caught a baby nurse shark once at Big Carlos Pass, it was almost two feet long!
8. "Future Starts Slow" by The Kills
9.

A Person wrote:Do you like anime? Do you have favorites?
What program do you use to open .pdf files?
If you had to be a breed of dog which one would you be?

I've not watched much anime. I want to get into it, but have no idea which types of anime I would enjoy, and no idea where to start.
Adobe Reader
Husky

Turnip Head wrote: I've not watched much anime. I want to get into it, but have no idea which types of anime I would enjoy, and no idea where to start.
Adobe Reader
Husky

Someone mentioned Sailor Moon to me today and it caused such a bizarre flashback. Just twenty years ago, anime was virtually unknown in America and Sailor Moon was most people of my generation's first exposure to it. That seems so strange now that it has become so commonplace.

thellama73 wrote:

Turnip Head wrote: I've not watched much anime. I want to get into it, but have no idea which types of anime I would enjoy, and no idea where to start.
Adobe Reader
Husky

Someone mentioned Sailor Moon to me today and it caused such a bizarre flashback. Just twenty years ago, anime was virtually unknown in America and Sailor Moon was most people of my generation's first exposure to it. That seems so strange now that it has become so commonplace.

Sailor Moon Crystal is coming! Be excited!

Turnip Head wrote:

bea wrote:What new ideas do you have for hosting games? Would you like a co-host?

Mostly some mechanics ideas. I had been working on a Hobbit themed game but Russti beat me to the punch! Maybe I'll save it for later.

I have a bunch of notes for a South Park mafia and a Star Trek mafia. I also want to host a game based on the Craigslist killer :O everyone would have identities, back stories, and things they want to buy and sell. It would be crazy I also have ideas for more games based on the Funny or Die philosophy.

If I do ever host, I would love to have a cohost. Are you offering??

Lizzy wrote:But back to business.
1. Do you feel like an adult yet?
2. What does being an adult mean anyway?
3. Do you believe in multiculturalism?
4. Which one of the following can you handle decently: sports, politics, religion?
5. How are you today?
6. Do you have any recurring dreams?
7. What's the biggest fish you've ever caught?
8. What's the song stuck in your head at the moment?
9. How do you feel about cherry picking?

1. God, no.
2. I think being an adult means you're capable of caring and providing for someone(s) other than yourself, i.e. starting a family. I am nowhere near ready for that... Theres still a ton of mistakes I plan on making before then
3. Absolutely!
4. Well I love sports and could talk about them all day. Except for soccer, which I don't enjoy watching and hate hearing about, but it's the one sport I'm any good at actually playing. I wish I was better informed about politics but I have lots of opinions/ideas, none of which I enjoy talking or arguing about. My thoughts on religion change all the time and I'm not comfortable discussing religion with most people.
5. I'm in a good mood today! Although I'm hungry and don't know what I feel like eating.
6. I have a recurring nightmare that one or more of my teeth fall out. It's like my biggest fear my dreams tend to be pretty wonky though.
7. I caught a baby nurse shark once at Big Carlos Pass, it was almost two feet long!
8. "Future Starts Slow" by The Kills
9.

A Person wrote:Do you like anime? Do you have favorites?
What program do you use to open .pdf files?
If you had to be a breed of dog which one would you be?

I've not watched much anime. I want to get into it, but have no idea which types of anime I would enjoy, and no idea where to start.
Adobe Reader
Husky

Sure! I love hosting. Prolly more than playing tbh.

If you get lynched/NK in a game, do you still follow it, or do you leave it never looking back?
What food would you never be willing to give up?
What is the first thing that interests you about a new person you meet?
What would your friends say about you?

Turnip Head wrote:list][*]Yes I enjoyed that game very much!! One of the craziest endings of any mafia game I can remember. You and Lorab should host a sequel [/list]

I was actually just thinking about it since I stumbled across this while cleaning out some old files on my Mac:





It would be so much fun to host a sequel (and good timing too with a new movie out) but not sure what Lorab's schedule looks like. Maybe one day there will be!

FZ. wrote:If you get lynched/NK in a game, do you still follow it, or do you leave it never looking back?
What food would you never be willing to give up?
What is the first thing that interests you about a new person you meet?
What would your friends say about you?

• I'll continue to follow a game if I'm still invested in its outcome. I like to root for my team (civ or bad) from the sidelines. But if I was completely and utterly fail in a game before my death (see Film Noir mafia for an example ) or if I die before I made any sort of impact, then I usually won't read along.
• Mashed potatoes and gravy. I need it.
• I try to understand a new person's sense of humor first, it makes it easier to connect with them. I enjoy watching how someone interacts with their inner circle of loved ones. I don't ask a lot of questions, I prefer to meet someone slowly over the course of natural conversation.
• I think my friends would say that I'm weird, haha But I think they would say I'm really friendly. And always down for anything

-- Splints, the fake role PM is absolutely legendary as far as I'm concerned. I just remember how paranoid LittleTiger and I were, in our BTSC... to the point that we were sending PM's accusing EACH OTHER lol. That was nuts!

If an alien came to visit earth, and you were his host, where would you take him?
Favorite comedies that have ended?
Last book you read?
What is your favorite smiley?

FZ. wrote:If an alien came to visit earth, and you were his host, where would you take him?

I hope he answers "to the government for prompt vivisection."

thellama73 wrote:

FZ. wrote:If an alien came to visit earth, and you were his host, where would you take him?

I hope he answers "to the government for prompt vivisection."

I hope he doesn't

FZ. wrote:If an alien came to visit earth, and you were his host, where would you take him?
Favorite comedies that have ended?
Last book you read?
What is your favorite smiley?

I'd take him to the Egyptian pyramids and the Nazca lines. Then I'd take him to the bar, I'd get him trashed and force him to tell me everything.
Chapelle's Show, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Seinfeld, That 70s Show, Cheers, Becker, Better Off Ted
Skippy Dies by Paul Murray

Did you know that I'm responsible for that smiley being used here?
DId you know that it is Derpy Hooves?
Do you like Derpy Hooves?

No to all of the above. But please bring more smilies to the Syndicate k.

Turnips wrote: Splints, the fake role PM is absolutely legendary as far as I'm concerned. I just remember how paranoid LittleTiger and I were, in our BTSC... to the point that we were sending PM's accusing EACH OTHER lol. That was nuts!

Reys fake role PM is as famous as MP's fake parchment from Sword of Truth good times!
muppets needs a sequel for sure! That game was so fun and as an outed baddie I was happy to live longer than some civs and other baddies!

were you ever anouted baddie in a game?
Do you think rabbit needs a sequel to sword of Truth?
Do you think splints wil follow through witha sequel to Muppets when she has yet to send me her ideas for roles for our AHS game? lol

Roxy wrote:

Turnips wrote: Splints, the fake role PM is absolutely legendary as far as I'm concerned. I just remember how paranoid LittleTiger and I were, in our BTSC... to the point that we were sending PM's accusing EACH OTHER lol. That was nuts!

Reys fake role PM is as famous as MP's fake parchment from Sword of Truth good times!
muppets needs a sequel for sure! That game was so fun and as an outed baddie I was happy to live longer than some civs and other baddies!

were you ever anouted baddie in a game?
Do you think rabbit needs a sequel to sword of Truth?
Do you think splints wil follow through witha sequel to Muppets when she has yet to send me her ideas for roles for our AHS game? lol

Yep, I've been an outted baddie twice. Once was when I chose to out myself for strategic reasons and I ended up winning. The other time was in Angel Mafia (hosted by LR and Illy). The other mafia team had rolechecked me and one of them info dumped on me right before he was lynched. I tried my best to convince everyone that he was lying but it didnt work because the civ's ninja kill only worked on baddies so I had no chance. Most pointless infodump of all time. My team later won a rez and rezzed me even though everyone knew I was a baddie I somehow survived a few days longer.

I didn't get to play rabbits Sword of Truth game, but it sounds like it was a lot of fun, so there should definitely be a sequel so I can play

Sounds like we need to pressure splints to get in the ball!!! Hehehe

Turnip Head wrote:

Roxy wrote:

Turnips wrote: Splints, the fake role PM is absolutely legendary as far as I'm concerned. I just remember how paranoid LittleTiger and I were, in our BTSC... to the point that we were sending PM's accusing EACH OTHER lol. That was nuts!

Reys fake role PM is as famous as MP's fake parchment from Sword of Truth good times!
muppets needs a sequel for sure! That game was so fun and as an outed baddie I was happy to live longer than some civs and other baddies!

were you ever anouted baddie in a game?
Do you think rabbit needs a sequel to sword of Truth?
Do you think splints wil follow through witha sequel to Muppets when she has yet to send me her ideas for roles for our AHS game? lol

Yep, I've been an outted baddie twice. Once was when I chose to out myself for strategic reasons and I ended up winning. The other time was in Angel Mafia (hosted by LR and Illy). The other mafia team had rolechecked me and one of them info dumped on me right before he was lynched. I tried my best to convince everyone that he was lying but it didnt work because the civ's ninja kill only worked on baddies so I had no chance. Most pointless infodump of all time. My team later won a rez and rezzed me even though everyone knew I was a baddie I somehow survived a few days longer.

I didn't get to play rabbits Sword of Truth game, but it sounds like it was a lot of fun, so there should definitely be a sequel so I can play

Sounds like we need to pressure splints to get in the ball!!! Hehehe

Maybe splints will follow through if she has a "record keeper of the spreadsheets" to nudge her along? IDK. I'd like to see the muppets sequel happen as I missed the first one. Wouldn't feel right without splintsy and lorab though. And getting those two's schedules to hook up sounds about as easy to happen as Moses parting the Red Sea tbh.


That said, as EPIC as SOT was, I'm still scarred from it. I learned the HARD way about Else. I forgave him and I still love him but man, that was harsh.

TH - south park mafia sounds interesting! PM me your ideas? Maybe we can work it up for the next hosting poll? I mean....if ya wanna.... *bats eyes*

Oh - more questions!

What is your favorite way to spoil yourself?
What is your favorite way to spoil someone else?
Do you have a special someone?
Are you looking for a special someone? (I'm not asking for me - I'm very happy in my married state - but you know - couples always ask about how to make other couples )
It's pretty obvious I've had drinks right? Cuz it should be.

What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite music to listen to to get pumped up?
What is your favorite music to listen to when you unwind?
What is your favorite music to listen to when you have a big fat bowl and no distractions?
Are you a wake and baker? Or are you more of a smoker who thinks "This is my reward for getting through today." - Or are you somewhere in the middle?

Do you think smoking or booze or anything else - helps or hurts your writing process? Why?

will definitely be hittin you up with those South Park mafia ideas

bea wrote:What is your favorite way to spoil yourself?
What is your favorite way to spoil someone else?
Do you have a special someone?
Are you looking for a special someone? (I'm not asking for me - I'm very happy in my married state - but you know - couples always ask about how to make other couples )
It's pretty obvious I've had drinks right? Cuz it should be.

I think I answered this one earlier! A nice long toke is my favorite way to spoil myself
Favorite way to spoil someone else? I like cooking for friends, or treating them out to lunch
There is currently no special someone. I am always looking. </3

bea wrote:What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite music to listen to to get pumped up?
What is your favorite music to listen to when you unwind?
What is your favorite music to listen to when you have a big fat bowl and no distractions?
Are you a wake and baker? Or are you more of a smoker who thinks "This is my reward for getting through today." - Or are you somewhere in the middle?

Royal blue.

Pumped Up: Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, Weezer, blink, Phoenix, Black Keys
Unwind: The National, Frightened Rabbit, Yukon Blonde, River City Extension, 90s rock
Chillin: Sigur Ros, M83, Matthew Good, Dave Matthews, Red Hot Chili Peppers

I wake and bake occasionally. I usually only smoke at night, or before bed because it helps me go to sleep tbh. But sometimes the best way to deal with a hangover on Sunday morning is to smoke a bowl and watch some football (not in the spring though )

bea wrote:Do you think smoking or booze or anything else - helps or hurts your writing process? Why?

Okay, so I like to write sober, but I'm a much sharper editor while I'm high. I catch things I didn't think about before. Ive also learned that if I'm inebriated while writing the first draft, almost none of it ends up useable. If I'm stuck on how to start writing a scene, I might have a few drinks first, definitely helps to get the ball rolling even if I have to edit it later

The brainstorm/outlining phase will likely involve, at different times, all 3 states of mind also, coffee. Always coffee.

Turnip Head wrote:will definitely be hittin you up with those South Park mafia ideas

bea wrote:What is your favorite way to spoil yourself?
What is your favorite way to spoil someone else?
Do you have a special someone?
Are you looking for a special someone? (I'm not asking for me - I'm very happy in my married state - but you know - couples always ask about how to make other couples )
It's pretty obvious I've had drinks right? Cuz it should be.

I think I answered this one earlier! A nice long toke is my favorite way to spoil myself
Favorite way to spoil someone else? I like cooking for friends, or treating them out to lunch
There is currently no special someone. I am always looking. </3

bea wrote:What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite music to listen to to get pumped up?
What is your favorite music to listen to when you unwind?
What is your favorite music to listen to when you have a big fat bowl and no distractions?
Are you a wake and baker? Or are you more of a smoker who thinks "This is my reward for getting through today." - Or are you somewhere in the middle?

Royal blue.

Pumped Up: Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, Weezer, blink, Phoenix, Black Keys
Unwind: The National, Frightened Rabbit, Yukon Blonde, River City Extension, 90s rock
Chillin: Sigur Ros, M83, Matthew Good, Dave Matthews, Red Hot Chili Peppers

I wake and bake occasionally. I usually only smoke at night, or before bed because it helps me go to sleep tbh. But sometimes the best way to deal with a hangover on Sunday morning is to smoke a bowl and watch some football (not in the spring though )

bea wrote:Do you think smoking or booze or anything else - helps or hurts your writing process? Why?

Okay, so I like to write sober, but I'm a much sharper editor while I'm high. I catch things I didn't think about before. Ive also learned that if I'm inebriated while writing the first draft, almost none of it ends up useable. If I'm stuck on how to start writing a scene, I might have a few drinks first, definitely helps to get the ball rolling even if I have to edit it later

The brainstorm/outlining phase will likely involve, at different times, all 3 states of mind also, coffee. Always coffee.

yay South Park!! I already have ideas....can't wait to see what you give me.


for me smoking was always the "sweet sweet reward." I made it through the shitty day, so now I get to puff puff happy.

I get the writing sober - and editing better high. My bff girl version always knows when I'm drinking because I spell better drunk than sober.


Might I recomend some david bowie for some chill times too. (And not at all to pimp my game, just David has his moments )

A Person wrote:Did you know that I'm responsible for that smiley being used here?
DId you know that it is Derpy Hooves?
Do you like Derpy Hooves?

derpy hooves <3

Thank you, everyone, for not asking me any questions about rape or women's rights! Most of the questions were about writing, stories, food, music and mary j, which are all among my most favorite things. I had fun doing this!

lol - I'm glad you had fun TH. It was fun getting to know you better as well!

We only ask questions like that when it's someone who deserves those questions

And I agree. It was very nice getting to know you more.

Who is next?

Oh, I almost forgot.

It's now the turn of BoatsBoatsBoats!


Let me know if you want to be next.

:O

Wht'at is your favoureite colour?

Do you like boats? Do you own a boat? Do you want a boat? What kind of boat do you want? What kind of boat do you not want?

My favorite color is sometimes green and sometimes not green.

I don't really like boats and used to be terrified of them when I was a small child. I don't want a boat. A not-boat. Most boats are boats that I would not want.

Are you doing okay?

I was until my ex texted me 2 hours ago

What is your favorite word that rhymes with "boats?"

Coats

Sup?

A Person wrote:Sup?

Lookin rad, feelin sad

BoatsBoatsBoats wrote:

A Person wrote:Sup?

Lookin rad, feelin sad

that's good, at least a tad

I was feeling pretty great until ex text, but it's looking like closure which is actually pretty good

Favorite ice cream flavor?

Cotton candy. It's so sweet it's like unicorn jizz

What is something about you that we think you should know that we've not been astute enough to ask you over the years?

Mongoose wrote:What is something about you that we think you should know that we've not been astute enough to ask you over the years?

I'm likely transgender (female). There was a point where I was completely confident in it, but after all this relationship turmoil, I need to find out who I am once again.

Other things: I'm left handed, I'm a brain trying to be a heart, I really want to become a good visual artist but never put in the time to practice drawing, I don't put up with others' bullshit which leads to lots of enemies, I don't know who I am, and I often feel like I don't exist.