MM6: Sherlock Mafia {THE FINAL PROBLEM}

#1051

No twisty twist tonight?

#1052

I had a twisty cone.

#1053

I like twisty pretzels

#1054

Pretzels don't really taste like anything.

#1055

Vompatti wrote:Pretzels don't really taste like anything.

How about chocolate covered twisty pretzels then? Or the large soft pretzels with mustard? I don't recommned eating them at the same time though.

#1056

Is there actually a point to having night phases when nobody has night powers any more?

#1057

Everybody's let's do the twist.
Open your mouth and in goes this:

#1058

Use the night phases to contemplate the existential implications of powers and lack thereof. Ommmm.

#1059

Afternoon delight.

#1060

Bullzeye wrote:Is there actually a point to having night phases when nobody has night powers any more?

#1061

I am sorry. I am. I am sorry.

SHERLOCK: Everybody wants to believe it – that’s what makes it so clever. (He looks at John.) A lie that’s preferable to the truth. (Looking away again, his voice becomes bitter.) All my brilliant deductions were just a sham. No-one feels inadequate – Sherlock Holmes is just an ordinary man.
JOHN: What about Mycroft? He could help us.
(He grunts as Sherlock drags him across to the other side of the alley and peers down the left arm of the T-junction.)
SHERLOCK: A big family reconciliation? Now’s not really the moment.
(He spins around, dragging John in a circle behind him as he looks back the way they came. John spots something at the end of the right arm of the T-junction.)
JOHN: Sher... Sherlock.
(He elbows him with his cuffed arm to turn him in that direction. A face is peering around the corner at the end of the alley.)
JOHN: We’re being followed. I knew we couldn’t outrun the police.
SHERLOCK: That’s not the police. It’s one of my new neighbours from Baker Street. Let’s see if he can give us some answers.
(He breaks in the opposite direction from where the man is watching them. Running to the next corner, they flatten themselves against the wall as they reach it and Sherlock looks around the corner. There’s no sign of any police in the street but a double decker bus – the number 74 to Baker Street Station – is approaching. Sherlock presses himself back against the wall again.)
JOHN: Where are we going?
SHERLOCK: We’re going to jump in front of that bus.
JOHN: What?!
(But Sherlock’s already on the move and drags John out into the street. The assassin races after them. Halfway across the road, Sherlock screeches to a halt directly in front of the approaching bus. John’s impetus carries him past Sherlock before he’s able to turn and now they’re both facing the bus and not moving. The assassin charges into the road, throws himself at them and shoves them out of the way and all three of them tumble to the ground as the bus drives past, its horn blaring. Before the assassin can recover, Sherlock sits up and drags the man’s own gun from his jeans, then cocks and points it at him.)
SHERLOCK: Tell me what you want from me.
(The man stares at him wide-eyed but doesn’t speak. Sherlock moves the gun’s muzzle closer to him.)
SHERLOCK: Tell me.
ASSASSIN: He left it at your flat.
SHERLOCK: Who?
ASSASSIN: Moriarty.
SHERLOCK: What?
(All three of them start to get to their feet, Sherlock still holding the gun on the other man.)
ASSASSIN: The computer keycode.
SHERLOCK: Of course. He’s selling it – the programme he used to break into the Tower. He planted it when he came around.
(Three gunshots ring out and the assassin reels and drops to the ground. Sherlock stares up in the direction the bullets came from, then swings around and he and John race off. As police sirens approach again, they duck into an open doorway as yet another police car drives past the end of the road. They take a moment to catch their breath again.)
SHERLOCK: It’s a game-changer. It’s a key – it can break into any system and it’s sitting in our flat right now. That’s why he left that message telling everyone where to come. “Get Sherlock.” We need to get back into the flat and search.
JOHN: CID’ll be camped out. Why plant it on you?
SHERLOCK: It’s another subtle way of smearing my name. Now I’m best pals with all those criminals.
(John has spotted a pile of newspapers nearby and he picks up the top copy.)
JOHN: Yeah, well, have you seen this?
(It’s a copy of “The Sun” – the same edition that Mycroft had at the Diogenes Club that morning, telling of the upcoming exposé by Kitty Riley. John shows it to Sherlock.)
JOHN: A kiss and tell. Some bloke called Rich Brook.
(Sherlock slowly turns his head – clearly the name means something to him. John is still looking at the paper and doesn’t see his expression.)
JOHN: Who is he?

Kitty Riley parks her car outside her home, gets out and locks the car before walking to the front door. Opening it, she walks along the hall to the door of her flat, then pauses and looks at the door nervously as she realises that it is slightly ajar. Hesitantly she pushes the door open and reaches for the light switch on the wall. The lights come on and she is greeted with the sight of Sherlock and John sitting side by side on her sofa, each of them drumming the fingers of their handcuffed hand on their respective knees.
SHERLOCK: Too late to go on the record?

Not long afterwards, Kitty is sitting in an armchair while the boys stand in the middle of the room. Sherlock is using a hairpin to pick the lock on his handcuff.
SHERLOCK (to Kitty): Congratulations. The truth about Sherlock Holmes.
(He frees his hand and gives the hairpin to John before starting to pace back and forth in front of Kitty.)
SHERLOCK: The scoop that everybody wanted and you got it. Bravo(!)
KITTY: I gave you your opportunity. I wanted to be on your side, remember? You turned me down, so ...
SHERLOCK: And then, behold, someone turns up and spills all the beans. How utterly convenient. Who is Brook?
(Kitty shakes her head, refusing to tell him any more.)
SHERLOCK: Oh, come on, Kitty. No-one trusts the voice at the end of a telephone.
(John finally frees his own hand from the cuffs.)
SHERLOCK: There are all those furtive little meetings in cafés; those sessions in the hotel room where he gabbled into your dictaphone. How do you know that you can trust him? A man turns up with the Holy Grail in his pockets. (Sternly) What were his credentials?
(Outside in the hallway there have been the sounds of someone coming in through the main front door. Now Kitty looks towards the door of the flat and rises to her feet with a concerned look on her face as someone pushes her door open. Sherlock turns to follow her gaze as Jim Moriarty, unshaven and with his hair messy and wearing casual clothes including a cardigan, walks in with a shopping bag.)
JIM: Darling, they didn’t have any ground coffee so I just got normal ...
(He raises his eyes and stares in terror at the sight of Sherlock, whose own eyes widen. Jim drops the shopping bag and backs away until he bumps into the wall behind him, holding his hands up protectively in front of him.)
JIM (his voice trembling): You said that they wouldn’t find me here. You said that I’d be safe here.
KITTY: You are safe, Richard. I’m a witness. He wouldn’t harm you in front of witnesses.
(John, his face full of shock, points at Jim.)
JOHN (to Kitty): So that’s your source? Moriarty is Richard Brook?!
(His teeth are bared and he glares at Jim, breathing heavily in pure fury.)
KITTY: Of course he’s Richard Brook. There is no Moriarty. There never has been.
JOHN: What are you talking about?
KITTY: Look him up. Rich Brook – an actor Sherlock Holmes hired to be Moriarty.
(Sherlock stares at Jim, who is still holding his hands up and looking at everyone nervously. Jim’s voice is shaking as he turns to John.)
JIM: Doctor Watson, I know you’re a good man.
(He backs into the corner of the room, appearing terrified under John’s ferocious glare.)
JIM: Don’t ... don’t h... Don’t hurt me.
(John screams at him, pointing towards him furiously.)
JOHN: No, you are Moriarty! (He turns his head briefly and yells at Kitty.) He’s Moriarty! (He turns back to Jim.) We’ve met, remember? You were gonna blow me up!
(Jim puts his hands briefly over his face, then holds them up in front of himself again, sounding as if he is almost crying in fear.)
JIM: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. (He gestures towards Sherlock.) He paid me. I needed the work. I’m an actor. I was out of work. I’m sorry, okay?
(Breathing heavily, John turns to Sherlock.)
JOHN: Sherlock, you’d better ... explain ... because I am not getting this.
KITTY: Oh I’ll ... I’ll be doing the explaining – in print. (She hands John a folder.) It’s all here – conclusive proof.
(John looks at an early typed sheet of her upcoming article, then turns to the proof copy showing the layout of how it will appear in the newspaper, with spaces left for photographs. The headline reads, ”Sherlock’s a fake!” with the strapline, “He invented all the crimes”.)
KITTY (looking at Sherlock): You invented James Moriarty, your nemesis.
JOHN (upset): Invented him?
KITTY: Mmm-hmm. Invented all the crimes, actually – and to cap it all, you made up a master villain.
JOHN: Oh, don’t be ridiculous!
(Kitty turns and points towards Jim.)
KITTY: Ask him. He’s right here! Just ask him. Tell him, Richard.
JOHN (furiously): Look, for God’s sake, this man was on trial!
KITTY: Yes ... (she points at Sherlock) ... and you paid him; paid him to take the rap. Promised you’d rig the jury.
(Sherlock stares at her silently.)
KITTY: Not exactly a West End role, but I’ll bet the money was good.
(She walks over to Jim and puts her arm around his shoulders as he stands with his hands still held out in front of himself.)
KITTY: But not so good he didn’t want to sell his story.
(Jim looks plaintively at John, putting his hands together pleadingly.)
JIM: I am sorry. I am. I am sorry.
JOHN (to Kitty): So-so this is the story that you’re gonna publish. The big conclusion of it all: Moriarty’s an actor?!
(He shakes his head in disbelief.)
JIM: He knows I am. I have proof. I have proof. Show him, Kitty! Show him something!
JOHN: Yeah, show me something.
(Kitty walks across the room. John turns to watch her as she reaches into a bag for more information. Behind them, Jim has put his hands over his face but now he pulls his hands away from his eyes a little and looks towards Sherlock, whose own gaze has barely left him since he arrived. For a brief moment, he reveals his true self and he smiles triumphantly at his enemy. Sherlock half-smiles back at him but there’s no humour in his eyes. Kitty takes out a folder, walks over to John and gives it to him.)
JIM (slipping back into his Richard persona and sounding plaintive and panicked): I’m on TV. I’m on kids’ TV. I’m The Storyteller.
(John looks at copies of Richard Brook’s contact details apparently taken from an agency website, then a newspaper article showing a picture of Richard in glasses wearing medical scrubs and with a stethoscope around his neck. The article is headlined, “Award Winning Actor Joins The Cast of Top Medical Drama”.)
JIM: I’m ... I’m The Storyteller. It’s on DVD.
(He looks across to Sherlock again, this time keeping his Richard face on. John continues looking through the folder at other publicity stills of Rich together with his CV. Jim gestures towards John, looking at Sherlock pleadingly.)
JIM: Just tell him. It’s all coming out now. It’s all over. (His voice becomes more frantic.) Just tell them. Just tell them. Tell him!
(Baring his teeth, Sherlock starts to walk towards him.)
JIM: It’s all over now ... NO!
(He backs away from Sherlock and up a short flight of stairs towards the bedroom on the upper level of the flat. His eyes are wide and terrified.)
JIM: Don’t you touch me! Don’t you lay a finger on me!
SHERLOCK (furiously): Stop it. Stop it NOW!
(Jim turns and bolts up the stairs.)
JIM: Don’t hurt me!
(Sherlock and John chase after him.)
JOHN: Don’t let him get away!
KITTY: Leave him alone!
(Jim runs into the bathroom on the other side of the bedroom. With Kitty still at the bottom of the stairs and therefore unsighted, and John halfway up the stairs with his vision blocked by Sherlock ahead of him, Jim turns and grins manically at Sherlock for a brief second before slamming the door shut. Sherlock runs to the door and struggles momentarily to open it, then shoves it open but Jim has already disappeared through the open window opposite. There’s a crash outside as if Jim has landed on top of a dustbin. Sherlock looks out of the window, then turns to stop John.)
SHERLOCK: No, no, no. He’ll have back-up.
(He heads towards the stairs. Kitty backs down to get out of his way but doesn’t move quickly, slowing him down.)
KITTY: D’you know what, Sherlock Holmes? I look at you now and I can read you.
(He stops at the bottom of the stairs as she gets into his face.)
KITTY: And you ... repel ... me.
(Sherlock turns and heads out of the door. John, still holding the folder of the articles about Rich, shoves Kitty aside and follows him. She closes the door behind them. The boys go out onto the street and John stops as Sherlock begins to pace rapidly back and forth in the middle of the road.)
JOHN: Can he do that? Completely change his identity; make you the criminal?
SHERLOCK: He’s got my whole life story. That’s what you do when you sell a big lie; you wrap it up in the truth to make it more palatable.
JOHN: Your word against his.
SHERLOCK: He’s been sowing doubt into people’s minds for the last twenty-four hours. There’s only one thing he needs to do to complete his game, and that’s to ...
(He stops dead as he makes a realisation. John, who has still been rifling through the folder, looks up at his friend, who is turned away from him.)
JOHN: Sherlock?
SHERLOCK: Something I need to do.
JOHN: What? Can I help?
SHERLOCK: No – on my own.

It is now Day 12. You have 24 hours.

#1062

TWIST #4

None of the still living players can vote on the next poll. Only Deadies, Non-Participants, and any other account that is not playing.

#1063

So that's me gone then...

£5 says I know who Team MP will pile votes onto

#1064

#1065

Does this mean we can talk on topic in the thread, INH?

#1066

I received a rezz last night as part of this twist I guess. I will give it out randomly among any AP/Mongoose voters.

#1067

Ohhh the classic "I received a rezz last night, guys" trick. I wondered when that one would come into play. TV Tropes had it spotlighted just the other day, actually.

#1068

Its not a lie, and I can prove it as soon as either AP or you get lynched. I've not lied once about what I have or what I intend to do during this game.

#1069

And to those faithful to the mission of the Island of Misfit Toys:

If you vote for someone other than me or AP, if you want, I will send you your very own original masterpiece that I created in Paint just for you! Whether it's portrait of you or a random item, I will create a JPG or PNG in Paint and send it over to you, just let me know what you want.

#1070

Mongoose wrote:And to those faithful to the mission of the Island of Misfit Toys:

If you vote for someone other than me or AP, if you want, I will send you your very own original masterpiece that I created in Paint just for you! Whether it's portrait of you or a random item, I will create a JPG or PNG in Paint and send it over to you, just let me know what you want.

I didn't vote for you, so I want Daenerys Stormborn in the final scene of season 1 of GoT, but with Eddie Murphy's character from Mulan on her shoulder. The background is just Vary's smiling. Also, the Muppets are there.

#1071

Elohcin wrote:Does this mean we can talk on topic in the thread, INH?

Yup, one day only.

#1072

insertnamehere wrote:
Mongoose wrote:And to those faithful to the mission of the Island of Misfit Toys:

If you vote for someone other than me or AP, if you want, I will send you your very own original masterpiece that I created in Paint just for you! Whether it's portrait of you or a random item, I will create a JPG or PNG in Paint and send it over to you, just let me know what you want.
I didn't vote for you, so I want Daenerys Stormborn in the final scene of season 1 of GoT, but with Eddie Murphy's character from Mulan on her shoulder. The background is just Vary's smiling. Also, the Muppets are there.

Pretty sure you'll want to ask here.

#1073

A Person wrote:
insertnamehere wrote:
Mongoose wrote:And to those faithful to the mission of the Island of Misfit Toys:

If you vote for someone other than me or AP, if you want, I will send you your very own original masterpiece that I created in Paint just for you! Whether it's portrait of you or a random item, I will create a JPG or PNG in Paint and send it over to you, just let me know what you want.
I didn't vote for you, so I want Daenerys Stormborn in the final scene of season 1 of GoT, but with Eddie Murphy's character from Mulan on her shoulder. The background is just Vary's smiling. Also, the Muppets are there.
Pretty sure you'll want to ask here.

Wow, that guy is even better with Paint than I am.

I will get to your request, luckily I have this handy tool called google in order to look up pretty much all of those non-Muppets references.

#1074

DH has no rez. He told me a while back that he intended to use that lie to gain votes later in the game. I guess he thought it was funny because I was dead so I couldn't tell anyone. Well who's laughing now?

#1075

Since we can talk on topic today, I'd like to start the discussion among the deadies. Who here feels they have been burned by DharmaHelper? I am thinking it may be his time to go.

#1076

OK I have no rezz for Elo or Llama. ;P

The rest of you can go ahead and vote AP or Goose and then one of you will get rezzed.

#1077

Elohcin wrote:Since we can talk on topic today, I'd like to start the discussion among the deadies. Who here feels they have been burned by DharmaHelper? I am thinking it may be his time to go.

We all know I was the brains of our duo. Anyone who feels burned by the actions of me and dh should lynch me if they feel that strongly about it. On the other hand I'd rather see Mongoose or AP lynched but its out of my hands either way...

#1078

thellama73 wrote:DH has no rez. He told me a while back that he intended to use that lie to gain votes later in the game. I guess he thought it was funny because I was dead so I couldn't tell anyone. Well who's laughing now?

We never even talked all game but that's a good try.

#1079

DharmaHelper wrote:
thellama73 wrote:DH has no rez. He told me a while back that he intended to use that lie to gain votes later in the game. I guess he thought it was funny because I was dead so I couldn't tell anyone. Well who's laughing now?
We never even talked all game but that's a good try.

Yeah, WE didn't talk. You were too busy boasting about your evil plans to listen to let me get a word in edgewise.

#1080

Jealousy doesn't suit you guys...

#1081

DharmaHelper wrote:Jealousy doesn't suit you guys...

Lying doesn't suit you.

#1082

Which is why I've not done it.

#1083

DharmaHelper wrote:Which is why I've not done it.

If you have a rez, why don't you prove it by using it on me now? You can't, that's why. Game, set, match.

#1084

Can't use it now because it's day for one thing, and because you didn't vote for who I asked the people I am considering for the rezz to vote for for the other. INH gave me the rezz as a bargaining chip I imagine, and It's difficult for me to imagine a scenario in which I give my reward to someone who is against me.

#1085

P.S I sank your battleship.

#1086

if you have one rezz how will that do any good? There are two votes against Bullz already. I could vote AP or Goose now, but Bullz or someone else could still easily be lynched.

#1087

All I can do is say I will randomize between AP/Goose voters if they're lynched and use the rezz on someone who helped that happen. If being back in the game is something you might want to toss your hat in for, go for it.

#1088

Hedgeowl wrote:if you have one rezz how will that do any good? There are two votes against Bullz already. I could vote AP or Goose now, but Bullz or someone else could still easily be lynched.

Don't listen to him, Hedge. He is a liar. Look into the eyes of your firstborn child, whom I have met, and know that my advice is good.

#1089

I could see the argument of me being a liar holding water if Bullz and I were still team mates, but we're not. Lizzy is my team mate now, and I'm interested in weakening the other team of AP/Goose.

#1090

Does anyone really believe that INH is just going to hand out a rezz to one player for no reason? Wouldn't that be a really unfair way to host, showing that kind of favoritism? Of course DH doesn't have a rezz.

#1091

Actually after spending all game with a useless power, I think it's nice of INH to give me something that'll change things up.

#1092

thellama73 wrote:
Hedgeowl wrote:if you have one rezz how will that do any good? There are two votes against Bullz already. I could vote AP or Goose now, but Bullz or someone else could still easily be lynched.
Don't listen to him, Hedge. He is a liar. Look into the eyes of your firstborn child, whom I have met, and know that my advice is good.

Well my son is sleeping, so the eye thing will have to wait till morning.

I was more interested in the logic of the rezz option than actually being rezzed. I also doubt, even if DH weren't lying, that any rezz will be given out to voters of Goose or AP if they weren't actually lynched in the process.

#1093

DharmaHelper wrote:I received a rezz last night as part of this twist I guess. I will give it out randomly among any AP/Mongoose voters.

Epignosis wrote: I have one, maybe two night kills I can use beyond the grave. The first is guaranteed. The second is one of those things INH is so fond of.

What do you want me to do with the first one? I can only use one at a time.

DharmaHelper wrote:I appreciate your offer! My suggestion would be in order of preference, Mongoose or A.P, but ultimately that's up to you.

Mongoose wrote:
Epignosis wrote:DH thinks I have a kill from beyond the grave. I do not. He thinks I am offering it to him. You might be interested in his reply to me:

DharmaHelper wrote:I appreciate your offer! My suggestion would be in order of preference, Mongoose or A.P, but ultimately that's up to you.
Thanks, Rob! You're a star.

#1094

That's awful kind of you to come clean Rob :P

#1095

DharmaHelper wrote:That's awful kind of you to come clean Rob :P

I'm like your sex like. Nothing to gain...nothing to LOOSE.

#1096

Life not like.

Damn, the joke loses it's potency.

#1097

Epignosis wrote:Life not like.

Damn, the joke loses it's potency.

Got potency problems, Epig? There's a pill for that.

#1098

^This is probably a sign that I should go to sleep.

#1099

#1100

When this is over, we will all get malts.

The Final Problem