The Polka Heist [GAME OVER]

[G-Man]

Something fishy is afoot on G-Man’s computer. Files are being destroyed by an as-of-yet unknown perpetrator. G-Man’s security bots are investigating but they need help. Can you help them solve the...

Players:


ALIVE:
Dragon D. Luffy
DrWilgy
Epignosis
Long Con
MacDougall
Michelle (replaced bimbo)
sig
Sloonei


DEAD:
Creature- Lynched Day 1 (vanilla mafioso)
Quin- Killed Night 1 (Semi-Limited Civvie Doctor)
Dom- Lynched Day 2 (vanilla civilian)
Dyslexicon- Killed Night 2 (vanilla civilian)
novaselinenever (replaced Sorsha)- Lynched Day 3 (vanilla civilian)
timmer- Killed Night 3 (vanilla civilian)
TonyStarkPrime- Lynched Day 5 (Semi-Limited Mafia Hitman)

ALTERNATES WAITING IN THE WINGS:
-Tedexter


HOST POST ISO


The Story So Far:
-The Saga Begins (Day 0 Starts)
-Another One Rides the Bus (Day 0 Ends, Day 1 Begins)
-This is the Life (Day 1 ends- Creature was a vanilla mafioso)
-If That Isn't Love (Night 1 ends- Quin was a civvie doctor)
-One of Those Days (Day 2 ends- Dom was a vanilla civvie)
-Trigger Happy (Night 2 ends- Dyslexicon was a vanilla civvie)
-I Can't Watch This (Day 3 ends- novaselinenever was a vanilla civvie)
-First World Problems (Night 3 ends- timmer was a vanilla civvie)
-Why Does This Always Happen to Me? (Day 4 ends- Nobody is lynched.)
-Your Horoscope For Today (Night 4 ends- Nobody is killed.)
-Virus Alert (Day 5 ends- TonyStarkPrime was a mafia hitman)
-I Think I'm a Clone Now (Night 5 ends- Nobody is killed.)

[G-Man]

Gameplay
1. Days are 48 hours long. I will do everything in my power to keep poll deadlines between 9:00 pm and 9:30 pm EST.
2. Nights are 24 hours long, but all PMs must be sent to the host within 23 hours so night posts can be written in a timely fashion.
3. Only those players who have BTSC may communicate with each other outside of the game thread but ONLY in designated BTSC threads or chat rooms. For everyone else, no game-related discussion is permitted outside the game thread.
4. Votes in the poll are the only votes that count. It's helpful but not mandatory that you declare your vote in the thread in a way that stands out to the host.
5. All votes are changeable all the way up to the deadline.
6. A tied lynch will result in no lynch. Votes matter. There will be no coin flips to determine lynch results.
6) Standard alignment wincons are in effect unless otherwise stated.
7) Dead is dead; you don't get to come back from that. Dead players will have their BTSC rights removed.
8) Roles will be revealed upon death.


Rules
1) Mandatory fun. This means feel free to make Weird Al lyrical references at will.
2) Respect your fellow players, your host, and your Facilitator.
2a) Don't be an asshat.
2b) Don't get butthurt.
3) If you feel like another player is out of line or making/taking things personal/ly, contact the Facilitator, JaggedJimmyJay.
4) No BTSC regarding the game outside of the game thread(s). Players are told in their rolecard if they have BTSC. If you don't have it, don't engage in it. Violating this rule will result in a modkill.
5) No editing or deleting posts.
6) Self-voting is permitted.
7) Double-targeting is not allowed unless otherwise specified.
8) Info-dumping and/or power-role-claiming is forbidden. Don't break games, build cases. You may, however, share which Weird Al polka tune you are. All mafia and power roles were assigned at random.
9) Off-topic posts should be in OT Green.
10) Dead players are to post in Dead Red.
11) Non-Players should post in Non-Player Blue.
12) This is the host's color. Do not post in this color.
13) Participation is polite to everyone involved. If I feel you may not be paying attention to the game, I will reach out to you. Replacements and modkills may be employed if necessary. If you sign up, please play. If you can't play, request replacement.

[G-Man]

THE SAGA BEGINS

Sergeant Bit and his apprentice, Detective Byte, looked down at the crime scene. It was a mess. Ones and zeroes were everywhere. In all his years patrolling G-Man's computer on security detail, Bit had never seen such carnage.

"What do you think, Sergeant?" Byte asked. "This looks like one of G-Man's Weird Al tracks. That Grammy's introduction piece. Was it a worm or a Trojan Horse that finally broke loose?"

"Even worse," Bit scowled.

"What do you mean?" Byte asked.

"Look at the way this file fragmented. This was no delayed rupture. There's intent written all over this crime scene."

"You mean another file destroyed it?"

"That's right, detective. There's not much to go on from just this crime scene. Let's head back to HQ and run a full scan on the hard drive. I know every old music file on this computer from start to finish. Let's see if we can find any fragments in another folder. That might give us a clue as to where the killer may have come from or fled too."

--------------------------------------------

"WEIRD AL'S GUIDE TO THE GRAMMYS" HAS BEEN DESTROYED.

THE GAME HAS BEGUN.

DAY 0 WILL LAST FOR ABOUT 24 HOURS.

[Long Con]

Let's doooo thiiiiiiisssss ramalamadingdong!

[timmer]

Sup!

[Dyslexicon]

Hello, friends.

[JaggedJimmyJay]

Hey gang, I'll be your facilitator/moderator on duty for the game. If at any point you feel frustrated and need someone to talk with outside the heat of the game, I'm your guy. Don't hesitate to send a PM. I am out in Canada for New Year's, so I may not be able to reply immediately. I should be able to get back to you within 24 hours though. Have fun y'all.

[Sloonei]

Let's go hang some salamis

[Dragon D. Luffy]

Yo

[Dom]

i saw weird al in concert this summer
with a 40 piece orchestra.
on a whim
because they had an extra ticket

i did not regret it.

[TonyStarkPrime]

i saw weird al in concert this summer
with a 40 piece orchestra.
on a whim
because they had an extra ticket

i did not regret it.

This is weirdly poetic in a “bad instagram poem” sort of way

[Long Con]

He once held an opponent’s wife’s hand

in a jar of acid

at a party

[Creature]

Happy new year

[Creature]

Already lost all motivation to play here

[Creature]

I'll probably deathtunnel anyone who ever votes me

[sig]

Already lost all motivation to play here

[sig]

Y'all should be ashamed tacky is much better than white and nerdy

[DrWilgy]

Ah hahahahaha

It begins!! My name is DrWilgy and I am most definitely a doctor. Pleasure to meet you.

[Long Con]

I'll probably deathtunnel anyone who ever votes me

I'm your Huckleberry

[timmer]

[Dom]

i saw weird al in concert this summer
with a 40 piece orchestra.
on a whim
because they had an extra ticket

i did not regret it.

This is weirdly poetic in a “bad instagram poem” sort of way

please don't make me upset
i will post how i please
sylvia plath told me to

[G-Man]

ANOTHER ONE RIDES THE BUS

Sergeant Bit and Detective Byte stood before another grisly scene. Once more, ones and zeroes were splayed about, but this time in an almost artful way. While Detective Byte leafed through their security reports, Sergeant Bit crouched low over the victim, trying to make sense of it all.

"What do you make of this one, Sergeant? A transient file?"

"Wallpapers, skyscrapers, funny papers," Bit murmured as he moved his hand over the crime scene. "Patterns."

"What did you say, sir?"

"Garden rakes, wedding cakes, rattlesnakes," Bit whispered.

"Sir, that doesn't make any sense."

"Patterns!" Bit shouted as he stood up. His eyes were wild with fury and knowledge. His apprentice was startled and confused.

"What does that mean, sir?"

"Patterns," Bit fumed. "Patterns, Byte, patterns!"

"Well, yes," Byte said, "the ones and zeroes certainly are arranged in a very orderly fashion, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Eveyrhting," Bit chortled. A smile grew wide on his face. "It's not just the name of the victim. He was sending a message to anyone who might be looking for it."

"What kind of message?"

"He's telling us to look for patterns between the first murder and his own. Brilliant really. What do you remember about last night's murder, detective?"

"Well, it was a "Weird Al" Yankovic song like this one."

"And?" Bit asked.

"And they were both bootleg files ripped from the audio files of YouTube videos. So you think this means that other bootleg files are in danger?"

"No, no, no," Bit said. "You're overthinking this. What's the obvious connection here?"

"They're both "Weird Al" tracks?"

"Yes. Give me those security reports," Bit said. Byte gave him the folder and they looked and the scan results. "Look here. No fragments of the first victim were found outside this folder. That means the killer never left this folder."

"And the deep scan shows that no files transferred into or out of this folder since the files present were added to it over a year ago when G-Man revamped his music digital music collection," Byte added.

"That's right," Bit said, patting his apprentice on the back.

"So the killer is still here?" Byte asked.

"Not just one," Bit cautioned. "The brutality of this murder looks like it had to be the work of two, maybe three files."

"You mean a conspiracy?"

"Exactly. We need to quarantine this folder so nobody gets in or out. It looks like we have a few corrupt files on our hands."

Byte called in the quarantine order into CPU security headquarters. Within seconds, digital shadow encased an unassuming folder of songs amidst G-Man's extensive digital music library. The folder was quarantined. Bit and Byte were locked in. One by one, the other files inside the folder came forward and began asking questions, many of which didn't make sense.

"Sir," Byte asked, "I don't think I understand these files. The goofy music, the strange lyrics- it's all so bizarre."

"Buckle up, detective. Things are about to get weird."

--------------------------------------------

"PATTERNS" HAS BEEN DESTROYED.

IT IS NOW DAY 1.

YOU HAVE 48 HOURS TO ELIMINATE A CORRUPT FILE.

[TonyStarkPrime]

Alright let’s get this started. Who’s scum and why is it sig?

[TonyStarkPrime]

I’ve waited an hour and a half and no one has given me the “Epi is scum for voting in the day zero poll and not talking” take so here it is no free points allowed

[Long Con]

Happy New Year!!! Happy New Decade!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you guys think it's suspicious that Epi voted in the poll and didn't say anything? And where's JaggedJimmyJay anyway? I need permissions.

[Epignosis]

It isn't a new decade. You start counting at one. You don't start counting at zero.

One (2011), two (2012), three (2013), four (2014), five (2015), six (2016), seven (2017), eight (2018), nine (2019), ten (2020).

Happy new decade in 2021.

[Sloonei]

It isn't a new decade. You start counting at one. You don't start counting at zero.

One (2011), two (2012), three (2013), four (2014), five (2015), six (2016), seven (2017), eight (2018), nine (2019), ten (2020).

Happy new decade in 2021.

[VOTE: Epignosis] aubergine

[Sloonei]

I’ve waited an hour and a half and no one has given me the “Epi is scum for voting in the day zero poll and not talking” take so here it is no free points allowed

Why don't you vote for him then, huh punk?

[Long Con]

It isn't a new decade. You start counting at one. You don't start counting at zero.

One (2011), two (2012), three (2013), four (2014), five (2015), six (2016), seven (2017), eight (2018), nine (2019), ten (2020).

Happy new decade in 2021.

This kind of bullshit talk is the same as those dicks who say Pluto isn't a planet.

[Sloonei]

You dingbats believe in planets?

[Long Con]

You start counting at one. You don't start counting at zero.

Like, you don't get to TELL me when I start counting.

[Long Con]

You dingbats believe in planets?

Hell yeah, it's integral to my entire ideology.

[Sloonei]

If we treat days the same way, then the new days does not begin until 1 AM, meaning that all New Year's celebrations around the globe every year are an hour early.

Absolute hogwash. Might as well be bathing pigs.

[Long Con]

If we treat days the same way, then the new days does not begin until 1 AM, meaning that all New Year's celebrations around the globe every year are an hour early.

Absolute hogwash. Might as well be bathing pigs.

It must be so satisfying, when everyone is having fun and celebrating a new decade -- basically a meaningless excuse to just celebrate -- to be the guy who says, "Ha! See you next year, morons!" and sit alone smugly while everyone else has fun.

[DrWilgy]

Happy new years all.

Epi. You do what you want, but it looks like the internet disagrees with you. The majority will eat your happiness like a cold pickle in july.

Sloonei, you wanna throw down or be bffs this game? I'm good for either as long as you rub my inner thigh with a fish corpse.

[Dragon D. Luffy]

I love those write-ups. That's some creative way to justify a game where roles are songs.

[Epignosis]

Happy new years all.

Epi. You do what you want, but it looks like the internet disagrees with you. The majority will eat your happiness like a cold pickle in july.

Sloonei, you wanna throw down or be bffs this game? I'm good for either as long as you rub my inner thigh with a fish corpse.

Joke's on you.

I have no happiness.

[VOTE: Quin] aubergine

[TonyStarkPrime]

It isn't a new decade. You start counting at one. You don't start counting at zero.

One (2011), two (2012), three (2013), four (2014), five (2015), six (2016), seven (2017), eight (2018), nine (2019), ten (2020).

Happy new decade in 2021.

Epi’s right and he’s town for counting correctly

[TonyStarkPrime]

I’ve waited an hour and a half and no one has given me the “Epi is scum for voting in the day zero poll and not talking” take so here it is no free points allowed

Why don't you vote for him then, huh punk?

I like him

[Creature]

Who tf thought starting this game in New Year was a good idea?

[Long Con]

Who tf thought starting this game in New Year was a good idea?

I think it's a good idea.

[Creature]

Yeah, it's a good idea to make players not play the game

[TonyStarkPrime]

Yeah, it's a good idea to make players not play the game

alternatively no one does anything today so they can play mafia

[Long Con]

Yeah, it's a good idea to make players not play the game

That is not what I believe. I believe players will play the game.

[Creature]

Yeah, it's a good idea to make players not play the game

That is not what I believe. I believe players will play the game.

Five days later?

[Dragon D. Luffy]

I am playing but there is a lack of scumhuntable posts that I can talk about.

Someone overreact about something silly so another person can be shady about it and then I can vote for them.

[Creature]

[VOTE: Luffy] aubergine

[Dragon D. Luffy]

[VOTE: Luffy] aubergine

That works, now I need the shady guy.

[Creature]

I already have the shady guy

[Epignosis]

Yeah, it's a good idea to make players not play the game

Phony indignation.

[VOTE: Creature] aubergine